013 Black Cat Alone: Part B

Episode 3

    The second hidden personality is Agatha, the most unwanted part of herself. Agatha came from Black Cat's French father, who had ever hurt Black Cat's mother Mei-Xian the most( refer to http://taoyundao.blogspot.tw/2014/05/black-cats-legendary-mother-black-cats.html ). When Mei-Xian's torso was sacrificed and trashed, as once a part of it(fetus), Black Cat also somehow received a small flow of her father's spell through the metaphysical relation between Mei-Xian's womb and her, then Agatha was born from Black Cat's existence.

    Agatha is just like a female copy of Black Cat's father, mixed with his wish. She is an innocent blonde girl, and also a Catholic. Agatha is very pious, she believes that God would help her if she prayed sincerely. When she faces a cliff, she thinks God will send his angel to protect her; even she jumps, the angel will catch her. No matter Agatha meets any adverse circumstance, she won't be discouraged because God is in her heart.

    Black Cat doesn't like this personality. One reason is that Agatha came from her hated father; the other is, Agatha is too religious. Black Cat doesn't like to let herself be a pious Christian. Black Cat isn't sure that which a supreme God exists or not, but whatever, she doesn't to rely on other's power, and also she doesn't submit herself to anyone. She just wants to try her best to become a great witch by herself. She can't accept to be owned: the Black Cat shall act totally freely around the entire world.

    However, Agatha still exists, and she influences Black Cat a lot. Black Cat knows, some portion of her is Christian no matter she likes it or not. Every time when she sees a crucifix, her heart will beats faster; when she hears someone singing hymns, she feels something inside her heart grows. She doesn't like that, but she has to find the way to get alone with her own self.

    In her realm, Black Cat walks towards Agatha. She doesn't prepare enough to meet Agatha, her Christian and paternal self. Black Cat watches Agatha, and she vows that someday she will face Agatha straightly...

PS.
    Black Cat always says that she put those marks of cross on her skirt only for design. Well, who knows? Maybe her Christian part let her to put those on for praying for her peace, but she won't say that.

    Three or four times a year, Black Cat will attend the church to ease her Christian part and satisfy her needs of believing. In such a day, she will wear her white dress and a crucifix necklace, and let Alisa and Siren to dominate her main personality. In that time, she isn't "Black Cat" anymore. She will use her true name: Huang Ru-Jun (黃 如君, I will explain it in my next work of Mei-Xian), and she will be a normal girl. Singing hymns, praying to the God, reading the Bible, talking to brothers and sisters, Ru-Jun will happily enjoy everything in the church, this is her only chance to be filled with the Spirit. When the night comes, Ru-Jun will come home with fulfilled heart. Next morning, everything will back to normal, and the mighty famous Black Cat will be here again.

    For Black Cat, attending church is her attempt to make up with Agatha. Agatha doesn't have a complete cognition, but her faith still acts on Black Cat's heart, and her main personality will be irritated about the change of her heart. Together with her bad father, Black Cat astonishingly found that she also hated Agatha. She didn't like this situation, and finally she made a compromise- she turned herself as Huang Ru-Jun( with Alisa & Siren's help), then attended the church...

Episode 4

    In her realm, Black Cat watches her two little girls silently. She doesn't let them be aware of her presence, and she hides herself in a magical circle.

    Those two girls are Black Cat's unwanted personalities. however, when she watches them now, she feels that something acts in her heart.

   Thump!

    Black Cat's heart beats faster. She wants to resist, but she can't.

    Thump! Thump!

    Oh my... Why do I have to care those two so much? They are too weak, too childish, too dependent, too religious, too blind, too--

    Thump! Thump! Thump!

    Wow~ Well, well, I do care them, enough? Yeah, they are myself, too. Although they are not the ideal types of what I want myself to be, they are still me, and I... I...

    Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump!

    Ok! Ok! I will say! Err...well, Agatha and Ruri, thank you for being me! You are very important to me! I don't like both of you as myself that much, but cuz of you two, my heart won't be too stony when I pursue my target to be perfect. Really thank you! And stay with me forever!

    ----In fact, Black Cat doesn't really speak out. She just murmurs with shedding tears. But one day, she surely will open her heart and accept those two without any awkwardness!

Finale

    Well, the story will come to it's end here. It's time for Black Cat to leave her private realm, the place of her soul, her ego, and her heart.

    Looking at Agatha and Ruri, Black laughs. She have released many hang-ups about them from her heart. Agatha and Ruri shouldn't be her defects, they are her natural inner partners, and they will support her heart without any condition forever. Their love, their warmness, their pureness flow into Black Cat's heart, and Black Cat opens her heart to accept those without ant resistance this time. She lets them to be mixed up with her heart, and she enjoys the chemistry happened there.

    Oh, how sweet it is... They are me, I know, I should already know. what a fool I am...

    Taking a last gaze again, Black Cat says goodbye gently. However, that doesn't mean she will leave them. On the contrary, Black Cat will keep them carefully inside herself from now on.

Epilogue

    Black Cat is smiling, she is smiling at you.

    You have read her story; this time, she wants to know your story, the story of you and yourself.

    Do you like your personality? Are you satisfied with the way of how yourself be you? Can you try your best to understand the property of your heart for strengthening it, instead of blaming it first when it causes your miseries?

    Black Cat smiles, now she knows her way to get along with herself, and she blesses you, wishes you can find your way, too.

    Thank you for reading it, and see you next time.