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2026年9月11日 星期五

佩姬的小白鞋 Peggy's White Sneakers

前篇 Previous story:

https://taoyundao.blogspot.com/2026/09/pelagias-vessel.html

回程的路上,光從東邊慢慢滲過來。路燈在他們身後一盞一盞熄掉,像有人沿路把昨夜收進口袋。他回頭看了一眼。整條街的顏色變了,從路燈的橘黃,變成清晨那種很淡的、還沒決定要藍還是灰的白。

她飄在他前方兩三步的位置,幻體在天光下淡了一層,像被早晨稀釋過。路上開始有人了。晨跑的、遛狗的、推早餐車的。沒有人多看他們一眼。

「欸,」她忽然說,「該怎麼稱呼你?總不能一直你呀你的。」

On the way back, light slowly seeped in from the east. Streetlights went out one by one behind them, as if someone were collecting the night into a pocket along the road. He glanced back. The color of the entire street had changed, from the orange-yellow of the streetlamps to that faint early-morning white that hadn't yet decided whether to be blue or gray.

She floated two or three paces ahead of him, her phantom body thinning in the daylight, as if diluted by the morning. People were beginning to appear on the streets. Joggers, dog-walkers, someone pushing a breakfast cart. No one gave them a second glance.

"Hey," she said suddenly. "What should I call you? I can't just keep saying 'you' all the time."

「我不是告訴過妳名字?妳還說記住了。」

「太長。」

「不用加姓,才兩個字。」

「不要,感覺——不對。像對不熟的人用暱稱。」她說得理直氣壯。「雖然我們有另一種熟,但不是親暱那種,不適合。」

「是喔。那妳想怎麼叫?我覺得……」

「阿豪。」她打斷他。「就這樣。豪哥也行,看我心情。」

豪哥。幾千歲的存在叫我豪哥。他覺得自己嘴角在抽搐。

"Didn't I tell you my name? You said you'd remember it."

"Too long."

"Without the surname, it's only two characters."

"I don't want to. It feels—wrong. Like using a nickname for someone you're not close to." She said it as if it were perfectly reasonable. "We have a different kind of closeness, but it's not the affectionate kind. It doesn't fit."

"Oh. Then what do you want to call me? I think—"

"Hao." She cut him off. "That's it. Hao-ge (big brother Hao) is fine too, depending on my mood."

Hao-ge. A being thousands of years old calling me Hao-ge. He felt the corner of his mouth twitching.

「那妳呢?我叫妳……頭小姐?還是女神之首?」

她的光環轉快了一點。「你是不是想讓我把你的名字改成『笨蛋』?」

「好吧,那到底要怎麼稱呼?」

「佩姬。」她說得很快,像早就想好了。「外面就叫佩姬。」

佩姬。從「佩拉吉亞」裡截出來的暱稱,像把鑽石磨成了日常戴的小墜子。他在心裡念了一遍。還行。

他忽然想到某個跨國企業創辦人好像也叫這個名字,但想了想,決定不要說出來。

"And you? Should I call you... Miss Head? Or Chief Goddess?"

Her halo spun a little faster. "Do you want me to change your name to 'Idiot'?"

"Fine, then what should I call you?"

"Peggy." She said it quickly, as if she'd already decided. "To the outside world, I'm Peggy."

Peggy. A nickname cut from "Pelagia," like grinding a diamond down into a small pendant for everyday wear. He repeated it in his mind. Not bad.

It suddenly occurred to him that some multinational corporation founder seemed to have that name too, but after thinking about it, he decided not to mention it.

「在那咕咕噥噥什麼?」她飛著,眼神斜過來。

「沒什麼,佩姬。」他順口叫了一次。

「嗯?」她的反應很輕,不如他預期。

「沒什麼。確認一下。」

「確認什麼?」

「確認這樣叫不會被咒殺之類的。」

她哼了一聲,眼神像在看笨蛋——不討厭的那種。

"What are you muttering about?" She flew alongside him, slanting a glance his way.

"Nothing, Peggy." He said it casually.

"Hm?" Her reaction was mild, not what he'd expected.

"Nothing. Just checking."

"Checking what?"

"Checking that calling you that won't get me cursed or something."

She snorted, her eyes looking at him like he was an idiot—but not the kind she disliked.

他調整了一下抱「容器」的姿勢,低頭看了一眼臂彎裡的東西。「那……這個呢?」

海藍色的光在晨曦中變得柔和,渦流緩緩轉著,像還沒睡醒。

「容器。」她隨口說。

「對,容器——」

「不對。」她轉過來,表情悶悶的。「你別這麼叫,我只是……順著你之前的說法而已,不是真的要這麼叫它。」

「……為什麼?」

「容器、容器,」她把這兩個字含在嘴裡又吐出來,像嚐到了不新鮮的東西,「你的身體也是容器嗎?裝心裝肺裝腸子的容器?」

He adjusted his hold on the "vessel" and glanced down at what was in his arms. "Then... what about this?"

The sea-blue light had softened in the dawn, the vortex turning slowly, as if not yet awake.

"The vessel," she said offhandedly.

"Right, the vessel—"

"No." She turned toward him, her expression sullen. "Don't call it that. I was just... going along with what you said before. I don't actually want to call it that."

"...Why?"

"Vessel, vessel," she rolled the word around in her mouth and spat it out, as if tasting something stale. "Is your body a vessel too? A vessel for holding your heart and lungs and intestines?"

他沒想到這會觸到什麼。「那叫什麼好?」

「身體?」她自己搖了頭。

「軀幹?」他試探。

瞪。

「真佩拉吉亞?」

「那誰是假的?你說!」聲量拉高了半度。

他舉手投降,想了想。

「……核心?」

她沉默了幾秒。臂彎裡的海藍色光忽然亮了一拍,像有人在意識深處同意了什麼。

「算了。就核心吧。」她嘆了口氣。

難伺候,他想。

He hadn't expected that to hit a nerve. "Then what should we call it?"

"Body?" She shook her head herself.

"Torso?" he tried.

A glare.

"The real Pelagia?"

"Then who's the fake one? You tell me!" Her voice rose half a pitch.

He raised his hands in surrender and thought about it.

"...Core?"

She was silent for a few seconds. The sea-blue light in his arms suddenly pulsed brighter, as if something deep in her consciousness had agreed.

"Fine. Core, then." She sighed.

High-maintenance, he thought.

---

到了他的住處。

推開門,光從窗戶照進來。不大,但一個人住很夠了。起居室兼餐廳,木桌佔了大半空間,角落有簡易廚房——流理台、電磁爐、微波爐,一個人夠用。再進去是臥室,門半開著,單人床上被子沒折,書桌上的筆電沒闔上,像裡面的人突然離開。衣櫃和鞋櫃都還空著大半。

她飛進來,掃了一圈,什麼都沒說。

他一手環著核心,一手解下聖杖和神劍。離開神殿後,只要他「想」,把聖杖和神劍往地上一立,就會變回那雙石雕般的腿,自己站著。杖頭散發著微弱的金色流光,劍柄流竄著細小的銀藍電流,裂縫裡透出隱隱的溫熱。

就像他們本來就住這呢,他想。嘴角有了弧度,鬆鬆的。

They arrived at his place.

He pushed the door open, and light came in through the window. Not large, but more than enough for one person. Living room doubling as dining room, a wooden table taking up most of the space, a simple kitchen in the corner—counter, induction cooktop, microwave. Enough for one. Further in was the bedroom, door half-open, unmade single bed, laptop still open on the desk, as if its owner had suddenly left. The wardrobe and shoe cabinet were still mostly empty.

She flew in, scanned the room once, and said nothing.

He held the core with one arm and used the other to unfasten the holy staff and the divine sword. After leaving the temple, whenever he "willed" it, planting the holy staff and divine sword upright on the ground would turn them back into those two stone-carved legs, standing on their own. The staff's head gave off a faint golden glow, the sword's hilt crackled with tiny silver-blue currents, and a gentle warmth seeped from the cracks.

Like they've always lived here, he thought. A smile tugged at his lips, loose and easy.

接著他環顧屋內,目光落在餐桌旁一把有靠背的木椅上。大小剛好。他把核心往上一擱,讓它立在椅面上。

「呀啊——!」

Then he looked around the room, his gaze landing on a wooden chair with a backrest by the dining table. Just the right size. He set the core on it, letting it stand on the seat.

"Eek—!"

尖叫聲從身後炸開。他轉頭,看見佩姬從半空中墜了下去,在幾乎觸地的瞬間止住,又猛地彈起,光環飛速地轉了好幾圈。

「你幹了什麼好事!」她氣到聲音都在抖,臉漲得通紅。

「我……放核心啊?」

「你把那個尖——!」她眼神轉向核心的底部。最下方的、銳利的尖端,壓在木椅的座面上。

她飄過去,沒碰到核心,它自己浮了起來。懸在半空中,跟在神殿裡一樣。

A scream exploded from behind him. He turned to see Peggy plummeting from midair, stopping just before she hit the ground, then shooting back up, her halo spinning several rapid circles.

"What did you do?!" She was trembling with rage, her face bright red.

"I... put the core down?"

"You put that point—!" Her eyes went to the bottom of the core. The sharp, pointed tip at the very bottom, pressed against the wooden seat.

She floated over. She didn't touch the core; it rose on its own. It hovered in midair, just as it had in the temple.

「你想想看,」她努力讓語氣平穩下來,但耳根的紅暈出賣了她,「核心是什麼?」

「佩拉吉亞的……身體?」

「身體的——哪——裡?」

他看了看核心的形態。下半部寬闊,流暢的弧線,到最下方收成一個尖。往上再次變寬,逐漸收窄,在頂端收束成頸口大小的圓——

他低頭看了看自己,想了想。

「……對不起。」

"Think about it," she said, trying to keep her voice steady, but the red at the tips of her ears betrayed her. "What is the core?"

"Pelagia's... body?"

"The body's—what—part?"

He looked at the core's shape. Wide at the bottom, flowing curves, tapering to a point at the very bottom. Widening again as it rose, gradually narrowing, converging at the top into a neck-sized circle—

He looked down at himself, thought about it.

"...I'm sorry."

「你讓核心浮著就好!它本來就浮著的!別亂擱!」她光環轉得飛快,碎碎唸了好一陣子。

「從來沒出過這種事……喔,現在有了。要死了。竟然有人把『我』往椅子上放,眼睛長在那是做什麼的啊,真是……」

她愈說愈小聲,最後幾個字幾乎是含在嘴裡。

"Just let the core float! It floats on its own! Don't just put it down anywhere!" Her halo spun furiously, and she grumbled for a good while.

"Nothing like this has ever happened... well, now it has. I'm going to die. Someone actually put 'me' on a chair. What are your eyes even for, honestly..."

Her voice trailed off, the last few words almost mumbled into her mouth.

---

早上,他準備上班——即使經歷了那樣的一夜。

出門前,他回頭看了一眼。佩姬浮在餐桌上方,頭頂的環緩緩轉著,正在研究他昨晚沒洗的泡麵碗。

「怎麼?」她沒抬眼。

「沒什麼。」他說,手握在門把上,「就是……把妳一個人留在這,感覺有點奇怪。」

「什麼叫一個人?」她終於看向他,表情淡淡的,「我有一顆頭,還有一具身體在飄著,還有兩條站直直的腿。這叫一個人?」

他愣了一下,笑了。

「而且我有我要忙的。」她又轉頭,「快走,你會遲到。」

In the morning, he got ready for work—even after a night like that.

Before leaving, he glanced back. Peggy floated above the dining table, the ring above her head turning slowly as she studied the instant noodle bowl he hadn't washed last night.

"What?" She didn't look up.

"Nothing." He said, hand on the doorknob. "It's just... leaving you here alone feels a little strange."

"What do you mean, alone?" She finally looked at him, her expression bland. "I have a head, a body floating around, and two legs standing straight up. You call that alone?"

He blinked, then laughed.

"Besides, I have things to do." She turned away. "Go on, you'll be late."

下班回家時,他才知道她說的「忙」是什麼。

快到家時,雙腳自己放慢了。不是累,是某種被什麼勾住的感覺,像有根透明的線綁在腳踝上。他繞過那棵快把圍牆擠歪的老榕樹,在僻靜的轉角站定——

她果然在那。

只是幻體沒有乖乖待在脖子底下。它走在前面幾步的位置,穿著深色圓點T恤、牛仔短褲、涼拖,像社區裡某個剛下樓丟垃圾的住戶。

只是沒有頭。

佩姬本人懸在側後方,盯著幻體的背影看,像審視作品的雕刻家。

When he came home from work, he found out what she meant by "things to do."

As he neared home, his feet slowed on their own. Not from fatigue, but from a feeling of being hooked by something, like an invisible thread tied to his ankle. He rounded the old banyan tree that was about to push the wall crooked, and stopped at a quiet corner—

She was there, just as he'd thought.

Only the phantom body wasn't obediently staying under her neck. It was walking a few paces ahead, wearing a dark polka-dot T-shirt, denim shorts, and flip-flops, like some neighbor who'd just come downstairs to take out the trash.

Except it had no head.

Peggy herself hovered behind and to the side, staring at the phantom body's back like a sculptor appraising her work.

她察覺了他。「呦,回來啦。」

「妳……在幹嘛?」

「調整幻體。」她說,視線沒離開那個無頭的背影。「它平常長在我脖子下面,我自己看不到全貌。大致沒問題,但有些小地方——」她歪了歪頭,光環跟著偏了一下,「——得從外面看,才抓得準。」

他看了一眼那個無頭的身體。它正轉過身來,配合著佩姬的轉向。牛仔短褲的褲管隨著動作擺了一下,涼拖踩在磨石子地板上,發出輕輕的啪啪聲。佩姬點了點頭,似乎滿意。

「應該……還行吧。破綻不多了,再改一下……」她自言自語。接著幻體走向他,動作流暢,肩膀微微前傾,雙手自然擺動。

She noticed him. "Yo, you're back."

"You... what are you doing?"

"Adjusting the phantom body." She said, her gaze not leaving the headless figure. "It usually sits under my neck, so I can't see the whole thing myself. It's mostly fine, but some small details—" she tilted her head, the halo tilting with it, "—need to be seen from the outside to get right."

He looked at the headless body. It had turned around to match Peggy's turn. The cuffs of the denim shorts swung with the movement, and the flip-flops made soft slapping sounds against the terrazzo floor. Peggy nodded, seemingly satisfied.

"It should be... okay. Not many flaws left, just a bit more adjusting..." she murmured to herself. Then the phantom body walked toward him, movements fluid, shoulders leaning slightly forward, arms swinging naturally.

——活生生的。明明沒有頭,身體的每個動作裡卻都有「人」。

佩姬在後面飛著,表情專注得像在飛無人機。幻體在他面前站定後,她嘴角鬆了。

「如何?」她看向他。

他又看了一眼幻體。站在那裡,手自然地垂著,涼拖踩在地面上,腳趾微微張開又合攏——像在適應新的地面。

「就像每天經過你眼前千百回、卻留不下印象的人們吧。」她自己接上了答案。

—Alive. Despite having no head, every movement of the body was full of "person."

Peggy floated behind it, her expression focused, like she was piloting a drone. When the phantom body came to a stop in front of him, the corners of her mouth relaxed.

"How is it?" She looked at him.

He looked at the phantom body again. Standing there, arms hanging naturally, flip-flops on the ground, toes slightly spreading and closing—as if adjusting to new ground.

"Like the people who pass by your eyes a thousand times a day but leave no impression," she answered herself.

他點頭,眼睛卻移向幻體的衣著。

「樓下那個推嬰兒車的,」她說,像看穿了他的疑問,「我學她穿的,看起來很舒服,而且不會有人多看一眼。我需要一個『普通人版』的自己。這可費工夫了。」

「費工夫?不是咻一下就變出來了?」

她愣了一下。表情轉為嫌棄——力圖保持優雅的那種。

「唉……你不是很聰明呢。」她嘆氣。「神力能造幻體,但幻體要像人——」她說。「每一寸皮膚的質感、每一個動作的銜接——腰怎麼轉,肩膀怎麼跟上,衣服的皺褶怎麼變化——全部都要交代清楚。差一點,就會被人看出來。」

He nodded, but his eyes moved to the phantom body's clothes.

"The one downstairs pushing the stroller," she said, as if reading his question, "I copied her outfit. Looks comfortable, and no one gives her a second glance. I need a 'normal person' version of myself. That took some work."

"Work? Doesn't it just poof into existence?"

She blinked. Her expression turned to disdain—the kind that tried to remain elegant.

"Ah... you're not very smart, are you." She sighed. "Divine power can create a phantom body, but for it to look human—" she said, "every inch of skin texture, every movement transition—how the waist turns, how the shoulders follow, how the clothes wrinkle—all of it has to be accounted for. Miss one thing, and people will notice."

她讓幻體往前走幾步。涼拖的後鞋面離開腳跟,又在下一步合攏。

「你看。後腳的鞋子後半部,得離開腳跟。不然像黏在腳上。」

幻體停下腳步,她繼續說。「你以為『看起來像人』很簡單嗎?光雕出有生命感的人像,就足以被稱為大師了。何況這人像還得動起來。」

幻體的手舉了起來,比劃了幾下,像在解說。

「所以,」她說,像在做結論,「法術不只需要力量,還需要資訊,才能把『流動』塑造成『形狀』。沒有形狀的力量,只是一團亂。」

他點點頭。大概理解了。大概。

She made the phantom body walk a few steps. The back of the flip-flop left the heel, then met it again on the next step.

"See. The back half of the shoe has to leave the heel. Otherwise it looks glued to the foot."

The phantom body stopped, and she continued. "You think 'looking human' is easy? Just sculpting a lifelike figure is enough to be called a master. And this figure has to move."

The phantom body's hand rose, gesturing a few times, as if explaining.

"So," she said, as if concluding, "spells need not just power, but information, to shape 'flow' into 'form.' Power without form is just a mess."

He nodded. He roughly understood. Roughly.

她說這些,像在說一件她做過千百遍的事。但對凡人來說,讓幻體動起來、讓它像人、讓它不被發現——這根本難翻天。

那當年佩拉吉亞施展神力、創造神蹟的時候,這顆頭,到底轉過多少念頭?

當女神的頭,也不簡單啊。

腦中突然閃過某句話。「Knowledge is power.」他脫口而出。

她的光環頓了一下。「幹嘛?沒頭沒腦來這一句。你找培根老兄有事?」

他輕輕搖頭。「沒事。只是……」他看她,「我有點尊敬妳了。」

「什……什麼意思?」她抿起嘴,飛回幻體的頸部上方。「而且什麼叫『有點』?你解釋解釋。」

幻體的手伸過來。這次比上次痛。不知道是她真的用力了,還是他太得意忘形了。

他邊打哈哈邊往樓上走。

She said all this like it was something she'd done a thousand times. But for a mortal, making a phantom body move, making it look human, making it undetectable—that was impossibly hard.

So when Pelagia had wielded divine power and performed miracles back then, how many thoughts had this head turned over?

Being a goddess's head wasn't easy either.

A phrase suddenly flashed through his mind. "Knowledge is power." He blurted it out.

Her halo paused. "What? Out of nowhere? You got something to say to old Bacon?"

He shook his head slightly. "Nothing. Just..." he looked at her, "I kind of respect you."

"Wha... what do you mean?" She pursed her lips and flew back above the phantom body's neck. "And what do you mean, 'kind of'? Explain yourself."

The phantom body's hand reached over. This time it hurt more than before. He didn't know if she'd actually put force into it, or if he'd just gotten too smug.

He laughed it off and headed upstairs.

---

他們進了屋子。他下班時繞去買了晚餐,袋子往桌上一放,炒飯、爌肉、滷蛋、臭豆腐。小小的空間裡,氣味一下子擠了進來,油煙、醬香、發酵的豆味,各自佔據一角。

她從飄浮的高度降下來,目光掃過那些塑膠袋和紙盒,像在清點戰利品。

「好吃的都買回來了?」她問。語氣平淡,但光環轉得比平常快了一點。

「不知道妳想吃什麼,就都買了。」

「嗯。」她走到桌邊,突然停下來,低頭看自己的腳。

原本還掛在腳上的涼拖,在她目光觸及的瞬間消失了,像從未存在過。

「進屋要脫鞋。」她喃喃地說,像在向誰解釋。

他嘴角抽了一下。

They entered the apartment. On his way home from work, he'd stopped to buy dinner. He set the bag on the table: fried rice, braised pork, braised egg, stinky tofu. The small space was suddenly crowded with smells—oil smoke, soy sauce, fermented bean—each claiming its own corner.

She descended from her floating height, her gaze sweeping over the plastic bags and paper boxes like she was taking inventory of spoils.

"You bought all the good stuff?" she asked. Her tone was flat, but her halo was spinning a little faster than usual.

"I didn't know what you wanted, so I got everything."

"Mm." She walked to the table, then suddenly stopped and looked down at her feet.

The flip-flops that had been on her feet vanished the moment her gaze touched them, as if they'd never existed.

"You take off your shoes indoors," she murmured, as if explaining to someone.

His mouth twitched.

食物一樣一樣被取出,擺好。她沒有身體可以坐,但幻體坐在他對面,頭顱飄在幻體的頸口上方,像準備一起吃飯的伙伴。

這畫面,他恐怕一輩子也習慣不了。

開動了。她拿起筷子和湯匙。有一瞬,湯匙柄穿過幻體的手掌,筷子的末端陷進手指裡。她皺了一下眉,微調了什麼,然後繼續。

她細細品嚐每一種食物。不是很興奮,但看得出極其專注。觀看色澤,湊近嗅聞,然後放進嘴裡咀嚼。每一步都不馬虎,色香味一項不落。被嚼碎的食物滑入喉嚨——幻體的喉嚨——她稍微仰頭,眯起眼,嘴角掛著淺淺的弧。

「好吃。」她說。語氣不複雜、不修飾。

好吃,就夠了。

The food was taken out one item at a time and laid out. She had no body to sit with, but the phantom body sat across from him, her head floating above the phantom's neck, like a companion ready to eat together.

This scene, he suspected, he would never get used to.

They began eating. She picked up chopsticks and a spoon. For a moment, the spoon handle passed through the phantom's palm, and the ends of the chopsticks sank into its fingers. She frowned, made a small adjustment, and continued.

She tasted each dish carefully. Not excited, but visibly focused. She examined the color, leaned in to smell, then put it in her mouth and chewed. Every step was meticulous—appearance, aroma, taste, nothing skipped. The chewed food slid down her throat—the phantom's throat—and she tilted her head back slightly, narrowed her eyes, a faint curve at the corners of her mouth.

"Delicious," she said. Her tone was uncomplicated, unadorned.

Delicious was enough.

他看著她吃了幾分鐘,忽然想到一個問題。

「那個……佩姬。」

「嗯?」

「妳吃的東西……去哪裡了?」

她停下筷子,看了他一眼,拍了拍幻體的腹部。「在這。被我用力量暫時懸著——跟讓頭飄著的一樣。」

「然後呢?」

她沒有直接回答。手伸進虛幻的身軀裡,出來時掌上多了一團東西。

被細細咀嚼過的食物糜。爌肉的纖維、米飯的顆粒、臭豆腐的碎屑,混雜在一起,被一層薄薄的膜包裹著。各種顏色纏在一起,帶著油光。

「喏。」她攤開掌,展示著。

He watched her eat for a few minutes, then a question occurred to him.

"Um... Peggy."

"Hm?"

"The food you eat... where does it go?"

She stopped her chopsticks, glanced at him, and patted the phantom's abdomen. "Here. I hold it temporarily with power—same as keeping my head floating."

"And then?"

She didn't answer directly. Her hand reached into the illusory torso, and when it came out, there was something in her palm.

Finely chewed food paste. Fibers of braised pork, grains of rice, fragments of stinky tofu, all mixed together, wrapped in a thin membrane. The colors tangled together, glistening with oil.

"Here," she said, opening her palm to show him.

He stared at the lump, then gasped and leaned back against the chair. He wanted to look away but couldn't.

他盯著那團東西看,然後倒抽一口氣,整個人往後靠上椅背。他想移開視線,但做不到。

不是單純的不舒服。是更複雜的東西。那些「前爌肉」、「前臭豆腐」混在一起已經夠令人反胃了,但一個女神——前女神——從身體裡把它們掏出來,捧在手上,還展示給他看。

不可思議,不對,不可理喻。

她察覺他的異樣,皺起眉頭:「幹嘛,有什麼不對勁?好吧,這些也是要處理——」

她手一揮,那團食物糜消失了。

「不能浪費嘛。」她說。

「不能浪費?然後呢?」他脫口而出,聲音尖了,連他自己都嚇了一跳。

她指了指核心。他轉頭。

He stared at the lump, then gasped and leaned back against the chair. He wanted to look away but couldn't.

It wasn't simple disgust. It was something more complicated. The "former braised pork" and "former stinky tofu" mixed together was already nauseating enough, but a goddess—former goddess—pulling them out of her body, holding them in her hand, and showing them to him.

Unbelievable. No, unreasonable.

She noticed his reaction and frowned. "What? What's wrong? Fine, this also needs to be disposed of—"

She waved her hand, and the food paste vanished.

"Can't waste it," she said.

"Can't waste it? And then what?" He blurted out, his voice sharp, startling even himself.

She pointed at the core. He turned.

核心懸浮在客廳一角,像一片濃縮的海,內部的渦流緩緩轉動。半透明的表面如呼吸般膨脹、收縮。金色的光絲像脈絡一樣分支、交織,經過節點時凝聚、停駐,編織出像器官、又像建築的精密結構。莊嚴、神聖,美到讓人想跪下。

可是在渦流的中心,在神聖光芒最濃密的地方,出現了一團濁黃,嚼碎的、軟爛的、混著湯汁和油脂的殘渣。像不請自來的惡徒,闖進了一座完美的宮殿。

金色的光絲繞過它,像困惑的手指在猶豫要不要碰;海藍色的渦流倒是更直接,滲進那團汙濁。泥巴般的色澤在光流中被拉成細絲,緩慢地擴散、稀釋。

他睜大了眼,然後發現自己在乾嘔。

The core floated in a corner of the living room, like a concentrated sea, its internal vortex turning slowly. The semi-transparent surface expanded and contracted like breathing. Golden threads of light branched and interwove like veins, condensing and pausing at nodes, weaving precise structures like organs, like architecture. Solemn, sacred, beautiful enough to make you want to kneel.

But in the center of the vortex, where the sacred light was densest, a murky yellow lump appeared—chewed, soft, mixed with juices and oil. Like an uninvited villain barging into a perfect palace.

The golden threads of light skirted around it, like confused fingers hesitating to touch. The sea-blue vortex was more direct, seeping into the murk. The mud-like color was drawn into threads in the light stream, slowly spreading and diluting.

He widened his eyes, then realized he was dry-heaving.

「你還好嗎?」她問。一臉不解。

「那個……那個是——」

「哦。」她看了一眼核心,「剛剛吃的呀。幻體又沒有腸胃,只能送那邊。」她說得坦然,像在說一件極其普通的事。「核心會處理掉的,淨化、吸收,化成佩拉吉亞的一部分。」

她轉回目光,發現他還在乾嘔,歪了歪頭。

「你在意?你們人類肚子裡也是這樣啊。只是看不到而已。」

「不……不一樣……」他看著那團在核心內漫開的污濁,再看他剛剛還笑著看她吃下的食物,再看她——那張美麗的、從容的臉。「這不應該……」他的聲音在抖。還沒說完,眼淚就流了下來。

"Are you okay?" she asked, looking puzzled.

"That... that is—"

"Oh." She glanced at the core. "What I just ate. The phantom body doesn't have a stomach, so it can only go there." She said it calmly, as if stating something utterly ordinary. "The core will process it. Purify, absorb, turn it into part of Pelagia."

She turned back and saw he was still dry-heaving. She tilted her head.

"You mind? Your human stomachs are like this too. You just can't see it."

"No... it's different..." He looked at the murk spreading inside the core, then at the food he'd just smiled watching her eat, then at her—that beautiful, composed face. "This shouldn't..." His voice was shaking. Before he could finish, tears were already falling.

不是嚎啕。是安靜的、沒辦法控制的滲漏。他自己都沒反應過來,眼淚就那樣流出。他用手背擦了一下,又流出來。

她愣住了。光環停轉了一瞬。

他花了好一會兒才說得出話。

「妳讓我看過佩拉吉亞。」他說,聲音很輕。「祂的面容——我沒有真正看清,但我記得那個感覺。照見萬物。還有那個……不忍踩下去的姿態。」他停了一下。「祂純粹。神聖。不應該……」

他的目光移向核心。那團汙濁正在被渦流一點一點地分解。

「不應該有一絲汙穢在祂裡面。」

Not sobbing. Just a quiet, uncontrollable leak. He hadn't even registered it before the tears were flowing. He wiped them with the back of his hand, and they came again.

She was stunned. Her halo stopped turning for an instant.

It took him a while before he could speak.

"You showed me Pelagia," he said, his voice very soft. "Her face—I didn't really see it clearly, but I remember the feeling. Seeing all things. And that... posture of reluctance to step down." He paused. "She was pure. Sacred. There shouldn't be..."

His gaze moved to the core. The murk was being broken down bit by bit by the vortex.

"There shouldn't be a trace of filth in her."

他知道這話不講理。但見到佩拉吉亞那次,他連自己的存在都覺得多餘。現在,祂裡面卻漂浮著嚼碎的臭豆腐。

像有人把最無瑕的白瓷拿去當菸灰缸。

沉默了一陣。

然後她的手——虛幻的、半透明的手——輕輕放在他的頭頂。拍了拍。又拍了拍。動作有些笨拙,像不常做這種事。

「女神後遺症。」她說。語氣很輕。

他抬起頭。

He knew the words were unreasonable. But when he'd seen Pelagia, he'd felt his own existence was superfluous. Now, inside her, floated chewed stinky tofu.

Like someone using the most flawless white porcelain as an ashtray.

Silence fell for a while.

Then her hand—the illusory, semi-transparent hand—rested gently on top of his head. Patted. Patted again. The motion was a little clumsy, like someone who didn't do this often.

"Goddess aftereffects," she said. Her voice was very light.

He looked up.

「佩拉吉亞——」她用了全名,「——可不是與萬物隔離的。」她的眼神移向核心。「祂遠到難以觸及,也大到世間放不下。可是——」她聲音變得很柔,「祂的存在,一直與世界交流著、互動著。」

她指了指核心上方——頸口的位置。進進出出的光芒,像潮汐。

「你瞧。祂從來不是封閉的。不是自己一個去完美、去崇高。神性接納萬物,不是棄絕萬物。像海接受一條死去的魚,也接受一顆墜入深海的流星。海不會因此變髒。海還是海。」

"Pelagia—" she used the full name, "—was not isolated from all things." Her gaze moved to the core. "She was too distant to reach, too vast for the world to contain. But—" her voice became very soft, "her existence was always communicating and interacting with the world."

She pointed above the core—the neck opening. Light flowed in and out like the tide.

"See. She was never closed off. She didn't go off alone to be perfect, to be sublime. Divinity accepts all things; it doesn't reject them. Like the sea accepts a dead fish, and also a meteor that falls into the deep. The sea doesn't become dirty because of it. The sea is still the sea."

她停了一下,像在翻一本很舊的書。

「那個年代,也有這麼一句話——『入口的不能污穢人,出口的乃能污穢人。』」她瞇眼笑了。「說這話的人,後來可有名了。」

他也笑了。眼淚還掛在臉上,但已經止住了。

「我……可以碰碰核心嗎?」他問。聲音很小,像怕被拒絕。

她輕輕點頭。

She paused, like turning a page in a very old book.

"Back then, there was also this saying—'It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth that defiles them.'" She narrowed her eyes and smiled. "The one who said that became quite famous later."

He laughed too. Tears were still on his face, but they'd stopped.

"Can I... touch the core?" he asked. His voice was small, as if afraid of being refused.

She nodded slightly.

他走到核心旁邊,手掌貼上去。溫的。表面輕微地起伏,像呼吸。

他看著那團散開的濁黃。金色的光絲正將它一縷一縷地拆解,送至核心各處。

它正在被吸收,正在成為佩拉吉亞的一部分。

他心裡還是有些抵觸。那是他對女神的想像。但他開始明白,那個想像可能太窄了。

就像佩姬說的。海就是海。

He walked over to the core and placed his palm on it. Warm. The surface rose and fell slightly, like breathing.

He looked at the dispersing murky yellow. The golden threads of light were breaking it apart strand by strand, sending it throughout the core.

It was being absorbed, becoming part of Pelagia.

He still felt some resistance in his heart. That was his image of the goddess. But he was beginning to understand that that image might have been too narrow.

Like Peggy said. The sea is the sea.

然後他也不知道為什麼,嘴自己動了:

「那……核心會不會——嗯——大便?」

空氣凝固了一拍。核心的光似乎也頓了一下。

「你問什麼鬼!」她伸手在他腦袋上「啪」地拍了一下。他頭暈目眩。

「吃了……就要排啊!」他辯解。

「排你個頭!」她深吸了一口氣,像在壓制什麼。「我……活了幾千年,見過帝王、見過祭司、見過各種自以為聰明的人——從來沒有人問過我這個問題。」

她放棄似地回到桌邊,坐下,用筷子指了指那盒已經半涼的炒飯。「炒飯都冷了。」她悶悶地說。「不好吃。都是你講傻話講太久。去加熱。」

Then, without knowing why, his mouth moved on its own:

"So... does the core—um—poop?"

The air froze for a beat. The core's light seemed to pause too.

"What the hell are you asking?!" She reached out and smacked him on the head. His head spun.

"Eat... then excrete!" he argued.

"Excrete my foot!" She took a deep breath, as if suppressing something. "I... have lived thousands of years, seen emperors, priests, all kinds of people who thought they were clever—no one has ever asked me that."

She returned to the table as if giving up, sat down, and pointed her chopsticks at the half-cold fried rice. "The fried rice is cold," she said sullenly. "Not good anymore. All because you talked nonsense for too long. Go heat it up."

他捂著頭,忍不住笑了出來。

「遵命,偉大的佩姬,女神至高至上之首,超越一切的存在。」

「……閉嘴。」

他把炒飯送進微波爐。按下加熱鍵,嗡嗡聲響起。他從門上的倒影看她。

她正盯著核心,眼神是他無法歸類的。

He clutched his head and couldn't help laughing.

"As you command, great Peggy, supreme head of the goddess, existence beyond all others."

"...Shut up."

He put the fried rice in the microwave. Pressed the button, and the hum started. He watched her reflection in the door.

She was staring at the core, with an expression he couldn't categorize.

---

之後的日子裡,她的「功課」多了一項。

不只是練習幻體的動作。她開始讓虛幻的手練習拿東西——筆、杯子、遙控器。幻體的手做出抓握的姿勢,同時物體被神力隔空移動,兩者的軌跡必須完全重合,否則就會出現「手在杯子旁邊,杯子卻自己飄起來」的畫面。

她還拿他的鞋來練習穿脫——一隻幻影的腳套進一隻真實的鞋裡,鞋帶在無形的力量下被繫好。

「妳練這個做什麼?」

「出門啊。」她說。「總不能一直窩在你這。外面的世界,我遠遠地望了這麼多年,該去看看了。」

In the days that followed, she added a new item to her "homework."

Not just practicing the phantom body's movements. She began having the illusory hands practice holding things—a pen, a cup, a remote control. The phantom hand would make a gripping motion while the object was moved telekinetically, and the two trajectories had to match exactly, or else you'd get "hand next to the cup while the cup floats up on its own."

She also used his shoes to practice putting on and taking off—a phantom foot slipping into a real shoe, laces tying themselves under invisible force.

"Why are you practicing that?"

"Going out," she said. "I can't stay cooped up here forever. The outside world—I've watched it from afar for so many years. It's time to go see it."

到了週六。她說她準備好了。

「第一件事——買鞋。」她的光環轉得快了一點。「先去鞋店吧!」

「所以妳那時不是說笑的?」

她看了他一眼。那種「你是不是真的這麼笨」的眼神。「認真的,你看不出來?」她比了比站在屋內的雙腿,「我真的想換下它們的鞋。」

他注意到她的幻體今天穿得特別整齊,看來她調整了很久。

Saturday came. She said she was ready.

"First thing—buy shoes." Her halo spun a little faster. "Let's go to a shoe store first!"

"So you weren't joking back then?"

She glanced at him. That "are you really this stupid" look. "I'm serious. Can't you tell?" She gestured at the legs standing in the room. "I really want to change their shoes."

He noticed her phantom body was dressed especially neatly today. She must have adjusted it for a long time.

他又看了一眼那雙涼鞋。確實是好看的,帶有古典的莊重感——但配在佩拉吉亞身上,就像晚禮服底下穿了一雙登山靴。

他沉吟一會,斟酌著字眼。「確實,不是佩拉吉亞那種風格。那件海藍色神裝美到我不敢回想,鞋子卻像……亞馬遜女戰士?」他脫口而出。

她打了他後腦勺一下。「就會嘴碎。這可是被羅馬人穿上的。他們眼中的佩拉吉亞,腳上就該有一雙堅固、能走遠的鞋。」她頓了頓。「羅馬人以道路、橋樑、軍團為傲,能抵達、能行動。他們認為一位有大能的女神,也該是這樣。而佩拉吉亞不會拒絕這個形象。祂接受人們用自己的想法詮釋祂。」

他聽她說,忽然覺得眼前這顆頭,比他想像中更接近一個真正的神。雖然這麼說很怪。

He looked at the sandals again. They were indeed beautiful, with a classical dignity—but on Pelagia, they were like hiking boots under an evening gown.

He thought for a moment, choosing his words. "True, it's not really Pelagia's style. That sea-blue divine garment was too beautiful for me to even recall, but the shoes are like... an Amazon warrior?" The words slipped out.

She smacked the back of his head. "Always running your mouth. These were worn by the Romans. In their eyes, Pelagia should have sturdy shoes that could walk far." She paused. "The Romans took pride in roads, bridges, legions—reaching places, taking action. They believed a goddess of great power should be like that too. And Pelagia wouldn't reject that image. She accepted people interpreting her through their own ideas."

He listened and suddenly felt that this head was closer to a true god than he'd imagined. Strange as that was to say.

「那羅馬人之前呢?」他揉著頭問。

「沒穿鞋。」她說。「腳上有些裝飾品。小珍珠串成的細鏈,纏在腳踝上。」

她的語氣忽然輕了下來,帶著一點不好意思。

「佩拉吉亞本來——是如深海般純淨深邃的女神。美麗,是根源般的性質。」

她說完,立刻補了一句:「這不是我說的。是那個年代的詩人寫的。」

「聽妳這樣說,好想再看看她。」

「看你的頭啦!」她轉過身,幻體大步往門口走。「走了走了。」

"And before the Romans?" he asked, rubbing his head.

"No shoes." She said. "Some decorations on the feet. Delicate chains of small pearls wrapped around the ankles."

Her tone suddenly softened, with a hint of embarrassment.

"Pelagia was originally—a goddess as pure and deep as the sea. Beauty was an intrinsic quality, rooted in her nature."

She immediately added, "That's not me saying it. Poets from that era wrote it."

"Hearing you say that makes me want to see her again."

"See your head!" She turned, and the phantom body strode toward the door. "Let's go, let's go."

---

一路上走走停停。

千年未曾接觸的塵世太吸引她了。便利商店的自動門開了又關,她來回走了三次;路口的號誌燈從紅轉綠,她盯著看完整個循環;騎樓下的野狗搖尾巴,她蹲下去——然後被吠了,彈回半空中。她走得很慢,他跟在旁邊,看著她看東西的側臉。

她刻意讓幻體換上普通女裝——深色T恤、寬鬆的褲裙。涼鞋的款式沒換(「節省算力」——她的說法),反正這時代也有類似的。光環也隱蔽了。外表像個普通的年輕女性,走在街上不會引起任何注意。

但在他眼中的佩姬身影,還是重疊了神殿中的那個佩拉吉亞。不是這件T恤和褲裙,是那襲海藍色的、如水般流動的衣裳。

或許是因為他就想這麼看。跟佩拉吉亞一模一樣的女生,核心就在身上,興奮地走在現代世界,到處鑽來鑽去……

視線有點模糊。陽光太強了吧,他想著。

They walked slowly, stopping often along the way.

The mortal world, untouched for a thousand years, was too fascinating for her. The automatic doors of a convenience store opened and closed; she walked back and forth three times. The traffic light turned from red to green; she watched an entire cycle. A stray dog under the arcade wagged its tail; she crouched down—and got barked at, springing back into the air. She walked slowly, and he stayed beside her, watching the profile of her face as she looked at things.

She deliberately dressed the phantom body in ordinary women's clothes—a dark T-shirt, loose pants-skirt. The sandals stayed the same ("to save processing power"—her words), since similar ones existed in this era anyway. The halo was hidden too. On the outside, she looked like an ordinary young woman, attracting no attention on the street.

But in his eyes, Peggy's figure still overlapped with that Pelagia from the temple. Not this T-shirt and pants-skirt, but that sea-blue, water-flowing garment.

Maybe because that was how he wanted to see her. A girl identical to Pelagia, with the core on her person, excitedly walking through the modern world, poking around everywhere...

His vision blurred a little. The sun's too bright, he thought.

好不容易,到了鞋店。各式各樣的鞋——高跟鞋、涼鞋、靴子、運動鞋——整齊地排列在架子上。

她像走進寶庫的冒險者,一雙一雙拿起來看,有的翻來覆去研究半天,有的湊到腳邊比對。偶爾喃喃自語,像在跟鞋子說話。

他坐在試鞋區的長凳上,默默看著。

她開心。不是張揚的那種,是安靜的、專注的、眼睛裡有光的那種。她拿起一雙鞋的樣子,像在辨認一個老朋友的筆跡。

他眼眶有點酸。她拿起一雙鞋的樣子,太像一個普通女生了。

他摘下眼鏡擦了擦。

Eventually, they reached the shoe store. All kinds of shoes—heels, sandals, boots, sneakers—neatly arranged on the shelves.

She was like an adventurer entering a treasure vault, picking up pair after pair, some examined front and back for ages, some held up to her feet for comparison. Occasionally she murmured to herself, as if talking to the shoes.

He sat on the bench in the fitting area, watching quietly.

She was happy. Not the loud kind, but the quiet, focused kind, with light in her eyes. The way she picked up a shoe was like recognizing an old friend's handwriting.

His eyes stung a little. The way she picked up a shoe was so much like an ordinary girl.

He took off his glasses and wiped them.

「阿豪,這雙好看嗎?」她舉起一雙淺棕色的瑪麗珍鞋,拿到腳旁比了比。

「好看。」

「你連看都沒看。」

「看了。好看。」

她哼了一聲,繼續逛。

"Hao, do these look good?" She held up a pair of light brown Mary Janes and held them by her feet.

"They look good."

"You didn't even look."

"I looked. They look good."

She snorted and continued browsing.

逛了一陣子,她終於開始試穿。一手扶著櫃子,一手拿鞋子往幻體的腳上套。他注意到她的動作比在家練習時流暢了許多,鞋帶、扣環、腳掌的彎曲,幾乎看不出破綻。

幾乎。

他他悄悄靠近,壓低聲音。「佩姬。」

「怎樣?忙著。」

「看看妳脫下來的那雙。」

After a while, she finally started trying them on. One hand on the cabinet, the other slipping a shoe onto the phantom foot. He noticed her movements were much smoother than when she practiced at home—laces, buckles, the bending of the foot, almost flawless.

Almost.

He quietly moved closer and lowered his voice. "Peggy."

"What? I'm busy."

"Look at the pair you took off."

她轉頭。

被她脫在一旁的「幻鞋」還維持著虛影——為了在旁人眼中保持連貫。但問題出在鞋裡。鞋尖處出現了腳趾。五根,清清楚楚,在空蕩蕩的鞋裡輕輕動著。

難以形容的詭異,像鞋子化成了妖靈。

她倒吸一口氣,趕忙蹲下去,假裝在整理鞋子,實際上是在修正法術輸出。幻體的手指伸進鞋裡,腳趾隨著碰觸逐漸消失,像被修圖工具抹去。整個過程不過三秒,但她臉都紅了。

她清了清嗓子,站了起來,假裝什麼都沒發生。

She turned.

The "phantom shoe" she'd taken off still maintained its illusory form—to keep continuity in others' eyes. But the problem was inside the shoe. At the toe, toes had appeared. Five of them, clearly visible, wiggling slightly inside the empty shoe.

An indescribably eerie sight, like the shoe had turned into a demon.

She gasped and quickly crouched down, pretending to adjust the shoes, but actually correcting the spell output. The phantom body's fingers reached into the shoe, and the toes gradually disappeared under the touch, as if erased by a photo-editing tool. The whole process took only three seconds, but her face was red.

She cleared her throat, stood up, and pretended nothing had happened.

「走吧走吧,前面還有。」他忍住笑,推著她的「背」往前走。手碰到幻體的時候,觸感怪異,涼涼的,像碰到一層半凝固的水。她回頭瞪了他一眼。

這陣子看過的奇異景象很多了,但總還能有更多的「驚喜」。法術真的沒那麼簡單,他想。

最後,她選了一雙白色運動鞋。乾淨的鞋面,簡單的線條,鞋底帶著一層薄薄的氣墊。她換上一隻,另一隻捧在手裡,翻來覆去地看。

「就這雙。小白鞋嘛,聽說有氣質的女孩都穿這種。還有氣墊,穿著舒服。」語氣試圖平淡,但嘴角的弧度出賣了她。「阿豪,幫我買。謝啦。」

"Let's go, let's go, there's more up ahead." He held back his laugh and pushed her "back" forward. When his hand touched the phantom body, the texture was strange, cool, like touching a layer of half-congealed water. She turned and glared at him.

He'd seen many strange sights lately, but there were always more "surprises." Spells really weren't simple, he thought.

In the end, she chose a pair of white sneakers. Clean upper, simple lines, a thin layer of cushioning in the sole. She put one on, held the other in her hand, turning it over and over.

"This one. White sneakers—I heard girls with class wear these. And they have air cushions, comfortable." She tried to sound casual, but the curve of her lips betrayed her. "Hao, buy them for me. Thanks."

「只要一雙?」

「一雙就夠——」

「第一次買鞋,」他站起來,「一雙怎麼夠?」

他把架上的幾雙也拿下來。瑪麗珍、帆布鞋、一雙帶細跟的短靴。他在旁邊看了一整場,知道哪些她翻了很久才放回去。

她看了看他手裡的東西,嘴巴張了一下,又合上。

「……隨便你。」她偏過頭去。光環轉得比平常快了些。

結帳時店員問要不要袋子。

「要大的。」他說。

"Just one pair?"

"One pair is enough—"

"First time buying shoes," he stood up, "how can one pair be enough?"

He took a few more pairs off the shelf. Mary Janes, canvas shoes, a pair of short boots with thin heels. He'd watched the whole time and knew which ones she'd turned over for a long time before putting back.

She looked at what he was holding, opened her mouth, then closed it.

"...Suit yourself." She turned her head away. Her halo spun a little faster than usual.

At the register, the clerk asked if they wanted a bag.

"A big one," he said.

---

回家的路上,他拎著好幾個袋子。她飄在旁邊,幻體的左右手也各提了一袋。

「我拿就好。」

「不用。」她說。「我想拿。」

她的幻體手指扣在提袋的握把上,像在確認自己真的抓得住什麼。

On the way home, he carried several bags. She floated beside him, the phantom body carrying a bag in each hand as well.

"I can carry them."

"No need." She said. "I want to carry them."

Her phantom fingers curled around the bag handles, as if confirming she could really hold something.

進了門,她放下袋子,解除幻體,長長地吐了一口氣。第一次正式上街,消耗不小。

休息了一會兒,她飄到屋角,看著那兩條石腿。

它們安靜地站著。羅馬涼鞋妥帖地包覆著腳掌,像保護也像封印。石趾從鞋前端露出,整齊地併攏。

「阿豪。」她說。「幫我換上。」

語氣很隨意,但聲音很柔。光環轉得慢了,像在等什麼。

「我這樣……不方便。」她補了一句。

They entered the apartment. She set the bags down, dissolved the phantom body, and let out a long breath. Her first proper outing had taken a lot out of her.

After resting a while, she floated to the corner of the room and looked at the two stone legs.

They stood quietly. The Roman sandals fit snugly around the feet, like protection and seal. The stone toes peeked out from the front of the sandals, neatly aligned.

"Hao," she said. "Help me change them."

Her tone was casual, but her voice was soft. The halo turned slowly, as if waiting for something.

"It's... not convenient for me," she added.

他走到鞋盒邊,取出那雙白色運動鞋,然後走向那雙腿——曾是他手中的聖杖、神劍,被他揮動、舉起不知道多少回,打贏過多少魔靈的腿。

他蹲下來——單膝跪地,像在做一件需要鄭重對待的事。

他的手碰到了涼鞋的繫帶。皮革比看起來的更柔軟。他一層一層地解開,像拆一件古老的禮物。

繫帶鬆開了,腳掌從鞋裡緩緩脫出。他把涼鞋輕輕放在一旁。他的拇指輕輕按了一下石質的腳背,像拍了拍老朋友的肩膀。

不知道是不是錯覺,拇指好像微微翹起了一下。

He walked to the shoebox, took out the white sneakers, and went to the legs—once the holy staff and divine sword in his hands, swung and raised who knew how many times, legs that had defeated who knew how many demonic spirits.

He crouched down—one knee on the ground, as if doing something that required solemnity.

His hand touched the sandal straps. The leather was softer than it looked. He unfastened them layer by layer, like unwrapping an ancient gift.

The straps loosened, and the foot slowly slipped out of the shoe. He set the sandals gently aside. His thumb pressed lightly on the stone instep, like patting an old friend's shoulder.

He wasn't sure if it was his imagination, but the big toe seemed to twitch slightly.

「他們……跟你很熟悉了呢,」佩姬飄在後方,輕輕說著,「說不定他們很喜歡跟著你行動。」

石腿似乎輕了。那是某種氣質上的變化,像壓在上面很久的東西被放下。杖頭和劍柄變得模糊了,像兩個終於可以下班的守衛。

他拿起一隻白色運動鞋,輕輕套進石質的腳掌。石頭的觸感冰涼,但指尖貼上去之後,底下那條極細的血管——或者說,像血管一樣的東西——還在跳。很輕,很慢,像深海裡的脈動。

鞋帶穿過孔眼,他慢慢地繫好。石質的腳趾在鞋裡安靜地收攏。

另一隻。同樣的動作。繫好。

"They... are quite familiar with you now," Peggy floated behind him, speaking softly. "Maybe they like going into action with you."

The stone legs seemed lighter. It was a change in their bearing, like something that had been pressing down on them for a long time was set down. The staff's head and the sword's hilt blurred, like two guards finally able to clock off.

He picked up one white sneaker and gently slipped it onto the stone foot. The stone was cool, but once his fingertips touched it, that extremely thin blood vessel—or something like a blood vessel—was still pulsing beneath. Very light, very slow, like a pulse in the deep sea.

The laces went through the eyelets, and he tied them slowly. The stone toes curled quietly inside the shoe.

The other one. The same motions. Tied.

他退後一步。

兩條石腿穿著白色運動鞋站在那裡。灰白的石質,乾淨的白色鞋面。

「……好舒服呀。」佩姬在他身後輕輕開口。聲音像是從很遠的地方傳來的。「我覺得……他們更喜歡被裹得好好的。被什麼支撐著。」她想了想。「他們就是——女生的腿。一雙女生的腿。」

他轉頭。她飄在那裡,看著石腿,光環很慢很慢地轉。

女生的腿。最早是女神的,曾經是女戰士的。但——就是女生的。

He stepped back.

The two stone legs stood there in white sneakers. Grayish-white stone, clean white uppers.

"...So comfortable." Peggy spoke softly behind him. Her voice seemed to come from very far away. "I think... they prefer being wrapped up properly. Supported by something." She thought about it. "They're just—a girl's legs. A pair of girl's legs."

He turned. She floated there, looking at the stone legs, her halo turning very, very slowly.

A girl's legs. Once a goddess's, once a warrior's. But—just a girl's.

石腿上的裂紋,似乎比剛才淺了一些。也許是光線的緣故。

沉默了一會兒。

「佩姬。」他說。

「嗯?」

「跳舞嗎?」

她愣了。光環往一邊傾了傾,像忘了轉。

「……什麼?」

「跳舞。」他掏出手機,隨手按了一首。旋律舒緩、溫柔。

The cracks on the stone legs seemed shallower than before. Maybe it was the light.

Silence for a moment.

"Peggy," he said.

"Hm?"

"Dance?"

She froze. The halo tilted to one side, as if it had forgotten to turn.

"...What?"

"Dance." He pulled out his phone and randomly pressed a song. The melody was soft, gentle.

幻體出現了。淡藍色的光暈勾勒出身形,穿著一襲簡約的連衣裙——和剛才上街的打扮不同,更像她自己想穿的。腳上是一模一樣的白色運動鞋。

虛幻的手搭上他真實的手。

The phantom body appeared. A pale blue glow outlined its form, wearing a simple dress—different from the outfit she'd worn out, more like what she herself wanted to wear. On its feet were identical white sneakers.

The illusory hand rested on his real hand.

「為什麼要跳舞?」她問。

「為什麼喔……就是……人類在這種時候會跳舞。」他有點心虛。

「這種時候?」她重複。「什麼時候?」

他支支吾吾了一陣。「就是……」他開口,聲音很輕,像怕踩碎什麼,「覺得活著,很不錯的時候。」

她沒有接話。但他看到她的眼裡,有什麼正在緩慢地浮上來。他形容不出那是什麼。

"Why dance?" she asked.

"Why... well... it's what humans do at times like this." He felt a little guilty.

"Times like this?" she repeated. "What times?"

He hemmed and hawed for a moment. "It's just..." he said, his voice very soft, as if afraid of stepping on something fragile, "when you feel that being alive is... quite nice."

She didn't answer. But he saw something slowly rising in her eyes. He couldn't describe what it was.

「對了,」他轉移話題。「妳那雙腿換上什麼鞋,幻體好像就會變出什麼鞋呢。」

她點了點頭。「不是必然如此,但這樣更簡單。」她頓了頓。「一方面,我也能感知到腿上穿的,反應在幻體上。另一方面——」她抬眼看他,「那些鞋,也參與了佩拉吉亞的定義。」

「定義?什麼意思?」他不太明白。

「你怎麼想佩拉吉亞,我又怎麼感覺你對佩拉吉亞的想法。」她指了指石腿上的白鞋。「隨著你替她換上新鞋,這些——想法、感受,也定義著佩拉吉亞,把她塑造成她在你心中的樣子。雖然只是極微小的一點。」她露出微笑。「我不是說過嗎?祂一直在跟這世界交流、互動。」

「那麼是——」他想了想,「我的定義是,祂是女神。但佩姬就是穿小白鞋的女生。」

「你早就這麼定義了。」她笑了。比之前任何一次都燦爛。

"By the way," he changed the subject. "Whatever shoes those legs wear, the phantom body seems to produce the same shoes."

She nodded. "Not necessarily, but it's simpler that way." She paused. "On one hand, I can sense what the legs are wearing, and it reflects on the phantom body. On the other—" she looked up at him, "those shoes also participate in defining Pelagia."

"Defining? What do you mean?" He didn't quite understand.

"How you think of Pelagia, and how I sense your thoughts about Pelagia." She pointed at the white shoes on the stone legs. "As you change her shoes, these—thoughts, feelings—also define Pelagia, shaping her into how she exists in your mind. Even if it's just a tiny bit." She smiled. "Didn't I say? She's always communicating and interacting with the world."

"So then—" he thought about it, "my definition is that she's a goddess. But Peggy is a girl in white sneakers."

"You already defined it that way." She smiled. Brighter than any smile before.

傍晚的陽光斜斜地照進屋內。光線落在核心上,海藍色的輪廓似乎柔軟了一些。有什麼輕輕的、細細的,從表面滲進去,又滲出來。

他們慢慢轉了幾圈。他的腳步不太穩,她的幻體偶爾輕微地閃爍一下。手機裡的曲子快結束了。旋律收得很輕,像怕打擾什麼。

然後停了。

他們站在原地。他的手還握著她的手。

「肚子餓了。」他說,腳步慢慢停下來。

「出去吃吧。」她笑著說。

The evening sunlight slanted into the room. The light fell on the core, and the sea-blue outline seemed to soften. Something light and fine seeped in and out of the surface.

They turned slowly a few times. His steps were unsteady, and her phantom body flickered slightly now and then. The song on the phone was ending. The melody closed very lightly, as if afraid to disturb something.

Then it stopped.

They stood in place. His hand was still holding hers.

"I'm hungry," he said, his steps slowly coming to a stop.

"Let's go out to eat," she said, smiling.

門打開。外面的天色已經暗了。路燈亮起來,便利店的招牌在不遠處發著白光。

他關上門,手裡沒拿聖杖,沒拿神劍,只拎了一袋順手拿去丟的垃圾。

她飄在旁邊,光環在路燈下淡淡地亮著。幻體穿著那件簡約的連衣裙和白色運動鞋,走在柏油路上,鞋底發出輕輕的聲音。

The door opened. The sky outside had already darkened. Streetlights were on, the convenience store sign glowing white not far away.

He closed the door. In his hands were no holy staff, no divine sword—just a bag of trash he'd grabbed to throw out.

She floated beside him, her halo glowing faintly under the streetlight. The phantom body wore that simple dress and white sneakers, walking on the asphalt, the soles making soft sounds.

像走在自家客廳裡。

Like walking through her own living room.

2026年9月7日 星期一

佩拉吉亞的容器 Pelagia's Vessel

 

聖杖的光芒消退時,最後的魔靈已經連灰都不剩了。空氣裡還留著它消失前的觸感——像隔著一層濕透的紗布摸他的後頸。那感覺正在緩慢褪去。

夜風吹過來,帶著燒焦的柏油味,還混著一股很淡的花香。他下意識看向路邊的行道樹,什麼都沒開。

他低頭看了自己。左袖直接沒了,露出的手臂上爬著幾道淺淺的灼痕。牛仔褲膝蓋破得可以直接看到皮膚。右腳鞋帶斷了,走路時鞋舌歪出來,像吐著舌頭嘲笑他剛才那一撲有多難看。

他右手握著聖杖——米白色的杖身,頂端嵌著一顆發出微弱暖光的晶石。左手握著神劍——劍身修長,呈現介於銀與淡藍之間的色澤,劍鋒上沾著的黑色殘漬正在緩慢蒸發。

When the holy staff's light faded, the last demonic spirit was already gone—not even ash remained. The air still held the tactile memory of its vanishing—like someone touching the back of his neck through a layer of soaked gauze. That sensation was slowly receding.

The night wind blew over, carrying the smell of burnt asphalt, mixed with a faint floral scent. He glanced instinctively at the street trees along the road. Nothing was in bloom.

He looked down at himself. His left sleeve was simply gone, exposing an arm crawling with several shallow burn marks. The knees of his jeans were torn open, skin visible beneath. The lace on his right shoe had snapped, and the tongue lolled out as he walked, like a tongue sticking out to mock how ugly his last dive had been.

In his right hand he held the holy staff—an off-white shaft with a crystal embedded at the top, emitting a faint warm glow. In his left hand he held the divine sword—a long, slender blade with a hue somewhere between silver and pale blue, its edge still stained with black residue that was slowly evaporating.

他把聖杖拄在地上撐住身體。雙腿發軟,膝蓋打著顫——六個月前他連慢跑都嫌累,現在每週至少有兩次要把命跑丟在柏油路上。

「……結束了吧。」他長長地吐一口氣。「感謝這對了不起的神聖武器,雖然……能不能再更強點?我也去了半條命。」

劍柄微微發熱,像捏了下手心。

「行行行,是我太遜。多謝兩位大爺保我小命。」他把劍也插地上,左手拍了拍杖頭,那塊晶石暗了一下,又亮起來,像翻了個白眼。

武器還能有脾氣,太棒了,他想。

He planted the staff on the ground to support himself. His legs had gone weak, his knees trembling—six months ago he could barely manage a slow jog, and now at least twice a week he had to run for his life on asphalt roads.

"...It's over, right?" He let out a long breath. "Thanks to this incredible pair of holy weapons, though... could you two be a bit stronger? I nearly lost half my life too."

The sword's hilt warmed slightly, like a squeeze on his palm.

"Fine, fine, I'm the one who's useless. Many thanks to you two lords for keeping my sorry hide alive." He stabbed the sword into the ground as well, and patted the staff's head with his left hand. The crystal dimmed for a moment, then brightened again, like an eye-roll.

Weapons with attitudes, he thought. Fantastic.

不過說真的,沒有它們,他早就被拖進下水道當儲備糧了。六個月前他還是個普通到不能再普通的上班族。然後,某天晚上,一束光落在他的租屋處陽台,留下一把杖、一把劍,和一張紙條。

上面只寫了一句話:

「恭喜,你被選中了。不好意思。」

他當時以為是哪個整人節目的企劃,直到幾天後,他看見一個上班族的影子從地面站起來,變成七尺高的黑霧,朝著他蔓過來。

But honestly, without them, he would have been dragged into the sewers and stored as emergency rations long ago. Six months ago he had been an ordinary office worker—ordinary to the point of being utterly unremarkable. Then, one night, a beam of light landed on the balcony of his rented apartment, leaving behind a staff, a sword, and a slip of paper.

The paper bore only a single sentence:

"Congratulations, you've been chosen. Sorry about that."

He had assumed it was some prank show's doing, until a few days later, when he saw an office worker's shadow rise up from the ground, transform into a seven-foot-tall black mist, and creep toward him.

——六個月。比他的任何預期都長。長到他記不清打了幾場。

終於……

可他仍然沒有「結束了」的感覺。

聖杖的杖頭微微發燙。不是淨化前的預熱,而是帶有方向性的溫差,像有人從裡面輕輕推了他一把。

雙腳自己動了。

那個方向——城市的西北邊,山的輪廓被夜色塗成一團深淺不一的灰。他小時候遠足去過一次,記得山頂沒什麼好看的。

神劍的劍柄也動了一下,輕輕的,像有人勾了勾他的手指。

他低頭看看聖杖,看看神劍,再看看那座山。

「走吧。」他輕聲嘆氣,雖然早就走起來了。

—Six months. Longer than any of his expectations. Long enough that he'd lost count of the battles.

Finally...

And yet he still didn't have the feeling that it was "over."

The holy staff's head was growing warm again. Not the pre-purification heat, but a warmth with directionality, like someone inside it had gently nudged him.

His feet moved on their own.

That direction—the northwestern part of the city, where the mountain's outline was painted by the night into uneven shades of gray. He had gone there once on a school outing as a child. He remembered there wasn't much to see at the summit.

The divine sword's hilt stirred too, lightly, like someone hooking a finger around his.

He looked down at the holy staff, then at the divine sword, then at that mountain.

"Let's go," he sighed softly, though he was 

already walking.

---

末班公車上只有他一個乘客。

司機從後視鏡看了他一眼——一個襯衫破了一半、拿著一根發光的杖和一把劍的年輕人,在深夜十一點四十七分坐上了往山區方向的末班車。司機大概見過更奇怪的,只看了一眼就繼續開車了。

他在最後一排坐下,把聖杖和神劍橫放在腿上。車窗外的燈光一盞一盞往後退,到了某個他叫不出名字的站牌,路燈開始變少,兩側的建築從公寓變成透天厝,再變成鐵皮工廠和荒草。

他在終點站下車。

He was the only passenger on the last bus.

The driver glanced at him once in the rearview mirror—a young man with a half-shredded shirt, carrying a glowing staff and a sword, boarding the last bus toward the mountain district at 11:47 at night. The driver had probably seen stranger things; he looked only once and went back to driving.

He sat in the back row, laying the holy staff and divine sword across his lap. The streetlights outside the window retreated one by one. At some stop he couldn't name, the streetlights began to thin out, and the buildings on both sides changed from apartment blocks to townhouses, then to corrugated-metal factories and wild grass.

He got off at the terminal stop.

司機猶豫了一下,問:「年輕人,這個時間你一個人?」

「有人在等我。」他說。

話出了口,他自己先愣住。誰?他的手掌貼著聖杖,溫熱還在。像回答,像催促。

The driver hesitated, then asked, "Young man, out here alone at this hour?"

"Someone's waiting for me," he said.

The words left his mouth, and he himself was startled first. Who? His palm was pressed against the holy staff. The warmth was still there. Like an answer. Like an urging.

---

從終點站到山腳的步道入口,走了大概二十分鐘。

沒有路燈。月亮被雲層遮了大半,只有邊緣透出一圈毛茸茸的銀光。他覺得自己應該害怕,但聖杖的光芒照亮了腳下,剛好夠看清路面。而他的腳步穩得出奇,像走在自家客廳裡。

步道不長,也許。他不確定自己走了五分鐘還是五十分鐘,只記得兩側的樹木越來越密,地面從水泥變成碎石,再變成被苔蘚覆蓋的石階。石階很窄,一次只能容下一隻腳,邊緣被磨得圓潤,像是有無數人踩過。

可這條路不應該有人走。

It took about twenty minutes to walk from the terminal stop to the trailhead at the foot of the mountain.

There were no streetlights. The moon was mostly veiled by clouds, only its edges leaking a ring of fuzzy silver light. He felt he ought to be afraid, but the holy staff's glow illuminated the ground beneath his feet, just enough to see the road clearly. And his steps were remarkably steady, as if he were walking through his own living room.

The trail wasn't long—maybe. He couldn't be sure whether he'd walked for five minutes or fifty. He only remembered the trees on either side growing denser, the ground shifting from concrete to gravel, then to moss-covered stone steps. The steps were narrow, each one barely wide enough for a single foot, their edges worn smooth, as if countless people had trod upon them.

But this path shouldn't have been walked by anyone.

他在某一刻停下來,抬頭。樹冠的縫隙裡露出幾顆星,比城市裡看到的亮很多,有種「壓下來」的感覺。聖杖的暖意不再是指向某個方向——它變成了一種均勻的、被包裹的溫度,像是他已經抵達了「那個地方」。

又走了幾步。石階的盡頭,月光下,建築的輪廓從樹影裡浮現。

那是一座神殿——或者說,曾經是一座神殿。屋頂塌了大半,剩下的部分像一片破碎的貝殼歪斜地掛在石柱上。牆壁只剩下三面,第四面完全垮了,碎石散落在雜草叢中。殿內的石地被苔蘚和蕨類佔領,角落裡甚至長出了一棵小樹,根系像手指一樣摳進石縫裡。幾根石柱還站著,但表面佈滿裂痕。

他走了進去。

At some point he stopped and looked up. A few stars showed through gaps in the canopy, far brighter than anything visible in the city, with a sense of bearing down, as if they might press down upon him. The holy staff's warmth no longer pointed in any particular direction—it had become a uniform, enveloping temperature, as though he had already arrived at "that place."

He walked a few more steps. At the end of the stone steps, in the moonlight, the outline of a structure emerged from the shadows of the trees.

It was a temple—or rather, it had once been a temple. More than half the roof had collapsed; what remained hung crookedly against the stone pillars like a shattered shell. Only three walls remained; the fourth had entirely crumbled, its debris scattered among the weeds. The stone floor inside had been claimed by moss and ferns, and in one corner a small tree had taken root, its roots digging into the cracks of the stone like fingers. Several pillars still stood, but their surfaces were riddled with fractures.

He walked inside.

腳踩上苔蘚覆蓋的石地時,一個念頭冒了出來——

這地方在等我。

不是那種「被命運選中」的戲劇性。更平淡,更日常。像鑰匙對準鎖孔的咔嚓聲,像踩進一雙放在門口的拖鞋——剛好是他的尺寸。很自然,很合理,彷彿事情本該如此。

聖杖的光在這裡不再向外擴散,而是往下滲,注入腳下的石地,像水滴落在乾燥的海綿上。地面上的苔蘚在光所及之處微微發亮,彷彿被喚醒了什麼古老的記憶。神劍的劍鋒也在振動。細微的低沉嗡鳴,從劍身一路傳到他腰側的肌膚上。

神殿的中央,月光從塌陷的屋頂直直落下,照在一個——

他停下腳步。

那是一個……容器。

The moment his feet touched the moss-covered stone floor, a thought surfaced—

This place has been waiting for me.

Not the dramatic kind of "chosen by fate." More mundane. More everyday. Like the click of a key aligning with a lock. Like stepping into a pair of slippers left at the doorway—just his size. Natural. Reasonable. As if this was how things were supposed to be.

Here, the holy staff's light no longer radiated outward but seeped downward, pouring into the stone floor beneath his feet, like water droplets falling onto a dry sponge. The moss on the ground glowed faintly wherever the light reached, as if some ancient memory had been awakened. The divine sword's blade was vibrating too. A faint, low hum traveled from the blade all the way to the skin at his waist.

In the center of the temple, moonlight fell straight down through the collapsed roof, illuminating a—

He stopped.

It was a... vessel.

---

容器漂浮在離地大約半公尺的空中,像被什麼看不見的力量固定在那個位置。大約半個人高,呈現某種抽象的形態——下半部寬闊,帶有流暢的弧線,像某種放大的腰胯輪廓,到最下方成一個尖,銳利得像是在說:別碰。往上再次變寬後逐漸收窄,在頂端收束成一個約莫頸口大小的圓。材質介於玻璃和玉石之間,半透明,表面帶著輕微的膨脹和收縮,海藍色的光澤規律透出,像深海在緩慢地呼吸。

但他注意到的不是形狀,而是裡面的東西。

那像是——光?不,比光更有質感。帶有重量感的發光物質,從頂端的開口輕柔湧入,在容器內部形成渦流,旋轉、下沉、分流,像是被什麼精確地引向了該去的地方。

而那些流動的「物質」在到達某些節點時,會停駐片刻,凝聚、交織、生長,彷彿有什麼正在那裡成形。像種子在土壤裡膨脹,像骨骼在胚胎裡硬化,像一個還沒有名字的器官正在被一筆一筆地描繪出來。那些凝聚的結構彼此相連,攀附、分岔,形成更精細的脈絡,像一棵倒生的樹,根在頂端,枝椏向下伸展,準備在某一天長成一棵完整的……

他不知道「完整的什麼」。

The vessel floated about half a meter above the ground, held in place by some invisible force. It was roughly half a person's height, its form abstract—wide at the bottom with flowing curves, like an enlarged silhouette of hips and waist, tapering to a point at the very bottom, sharp enough to say: don't touch. Widening again as it rose, then gradually narrowing, converging at the top into an opening roughly the size of a neck. The material lay somewhere between glass and jade, translucent, its surface subtly expanding and contracting, a sea-blue luster pulsing rhythmically from within, like the deep ocean breathing slowly.

But what caught his attention wasn't the shape. It was what was inside.

It looked like—light? No, something with more substance than light. A luminous matter with weight to it, flowing gently in through the opening at the top, forming a vortex inside the vessel, spinning, sinking, dividing, as if being precisely guided to where it needed to go.

And those flowing "substances," upon reaching certain nodes, would pause briefly, condensing, interweaving, growing, as if something was taking shape there. Like seeds swelling in soil. Like bones hardening in an embryo. Like an organ that had not yet been named being sketched stroke by stroke. Those condensed structures connected to one another, clinging, branching, forming ever finer networks, like an inverted tree—roots at the top, branches reaching downward, preparing to one day grow into a complete...

He didn't know "a complete what."

他也不知道自己在這裡站了多久。

意識到的時候,腿已經酸了。月光的位置從容器的左側移到了正上方,至少過了一兩個小時。但他不記得有過無聊或疲倦感。那種「本應如此」的安詳像一層薄薄的暖流,從頭頂到腳底包裹著他,讓他只是——看。

看那個世界在容器內部自轉。

看那些結構一層一層地生成。

看那個「還沒有名字的什麼」在被溫柔地、耐心地、一點一點地完成。

聖杖的光芒不知何時暗了下來,只剩杖頂的晶石還亮著。神劍安靜地垂在他手邊,劍鋒映著容器內部的藍光,像是在回應什麼。

他低頭看看聖杖。看看神劍。

然後他蹲下,將聖杖和神劍插入靠近容器下方的地裡。

沒在想什麼,就是這樣。像是你站在門口,口袋裡摸到了鑰匙,手就自然地伸向鎖孔。

He also didn't know how long he'd been standing there.

When he became aware again, his legs had gone sore. The moonlight had shifted from the vessel's left side to directly overhead—at least an hour or two had passed. But he didn't remember any boredom or fatigue. That sense of "this is how it should be" wrapped around him like a thin layer of warm current, from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet, letting him simply—watch.

Watch that world spinning within the vessel.

Watch those structures forming layer by layer.

Watch that "something without a name yet" being tenderly, patiently, bit by bit, completed.

The holy staff's light had dimmed at some point without his noticing; only the crystal at its top still glowed. The divine sword hung quietly at his side, its blade reflecting the blue light from inside the vessel, as if responding to something.

He looked down at the holy staff. Then at the divine sword.

Then he crouched and thrust both the holy staff and the divine sword into the ground near the base of the vessel.

He wasn't thinking anything in particular. It just happened. Like standing at a doorway, finding the key in your pocket, and your hand naturally reaching toward the lock.

---

光來了,從插入點湧出,像是被壓在地底很久的泉水找到了出口。

光芒順著石地裂縫的紋路擴散,將整座神殿的地面點亮。苔蘚在光中變成了翡翠色,石縫裡的蕨類舒展開來。

光上升。匯聚。旋轉。凝縮。

The light came, gushing from the points of insertion, like a spring that had been trapped underground for ages finally finding an outlet.

The light spread along the fissures in the stone floor, illuminating the entire temple ground. The moss turned emerald in the light; the ferns in the cracks unfurled.

The light rose. Converged. Swirled. Condensed.

一顆「人頭」在光芒中成形。

他的呼吸停了幾秒。

不是影像或幻覺,是實實在在的一顆頭顱,漂浮在聖杖和神劍上方。女性,頭髮盤起,髮絲呈深棕色,在光中泛著光澤。五官——他找不到合適的形容詞。不是「美」那麼簡單。她的輪廓太精確了,精確到讓他覺得平常認得的那種「好看」變得很粗糙,像是拿彩色玻璃珠對上一顆鑽石。

頭頂上有一個環。

金色的,細細的,漂浮在頭頂上方約兩指寬的位置,緩緩旋轉。像天使畫像裡的光環,但更實在——有厚度,有質感,表面刻著神秘的細密紋路。

A "head" took shape within the radiance.

His breath stopped for several seconds.

Not an image or an illusion—a real, solid head, floating above the holy staff and the divine sword. Female, hair pinned up, deep brown strands glinting in the light. Her features—he couldn't find the right words. "Beautiful" was too simple. Her contours were too precise, so precise that the kind of "good-looking" he normally recognized suddenly felt crude, like comparing colored glass beads to a diamond.

Above her head was a ring.

Golden, slender, floating about two finger-widths above her crown, rotating slowly. Like the halos in paintings of angels, but more substantial—with thickness, with texture, its surface engraved with fine, arcane patterns.

她的表情——

她在笑。嘴角微微上揚,弧度恰到好處,好看得讓人心裡一緊。但那雙眼睛——深琥珀色,像老樹的樹脂被光從深處點亮——藏著什麼不太一樣的東西。

不是悲傷。比悲傷更陳舊。

她開口了。

Her expression—

She was smiling. The corners of her lips lifted slightly, the arc perfectly measured, beautiful enough to make his chest tighten. But those eyes—deep amber, like old tree resin lit from within by light—held something slightly different.

Not sorrow. Something older than sorrow.

She spoke.

---

「辛苦了。」

聲音從那顆頭顱的方向傳來,清晰、從容,帶著一點點沙啞。

「啊?」他說。這是他能發出的最接近語言的聲音。

「我說,辛苦了。」她重複了一次,語氣像是在對一個加班到深夜的同事打招呼。「帶著那兩件東西跑來跑去,很累吧?」

他張了張嘴。一顆頭在對他說話。一顆非常漂亮的、頭頂有光環的、漂浮在半空中的頭。在一座破敗的神殿裡。

"Good work."

The voice came from the direction of the head—clear, composed, with a touch of huskiness.

"Huh?" he said. That was the closest thing to language he could produce.

"I said, good work," she repeated, her tone like someone greeting a colleague working late into the night. "Running around with those two things—tiring, isn't it?"

He opened his mouth. A head was talking to him. A very beautiful head, with a halo above it, floating in midair. In a ruined temple.

「妳……是活的?」

她的眉毛微微挑了一下。「要不你是在跟空氣說話?」

好吧。會嗆人的頭。

「我是——」她頓了一下,像是在斟酌措辭。「算了,先不說我。你先看看你的武器。」

「我的武器?」他低下頭。

三秒前他的武器還插在地上。現在他眼中的是截然不同的東西。

"Are you... alive?"

One eyebrow lifted slightly. "Or are you talking to the air?"

Right. A head with attitude.

"I am—" she paused, as if choosing her words. "Never mind me for now. Look at your weapons first."

"My weapons?" He looked down.

Three seconds ago, his weapons had been planted in the ground. What he saw now was something entirely different.

聖杖的杖桿不見了。插在地上的,是一條——腿。人類的右腿。米白色,帶有石質的光澤。表面有細微的裂紋。它站著,膝蓋微彎,腳上穿著一隻褐色的平底涼鞋。皮革舊舊的,腳背上的縫線整整齊齊。五根腳趾從鞋前探出,優雅地併攏。

神劍那邊也一樣。左腿,同樣是石材的質感,同樣佈滿細微的裂痕。站得比右腿更直一些。涼鞋前端靠緊右腿的那隻,大拇趾抵在一起,像夥伴悄悄牽手。

聖杖的杖頭嵌在右腿上方的斷面處,像一顆放在石臺上的夜明珠。神劍的銀藍色劍柄朝上,像是左腿上長出了一截不屬於它的金屬。

他蹲下去,手指停在右膝前方不到一公分的距離。

然後他碰了。

很硬,像大理石。但指尖貼上去之後,底下有東西在動。像有一條極細的血管在跳。他的手指本能地縮了一下。

The holy staff's shaft was gone. What stood in the ground was—a leg. A human right leg. Off-white, with a stone-like luster. Its surface was covered in fine cracks. It stood upright, knee slightly bent, the foot wearing a brown flat sandal. Old leather, with neat stitching across the instep. Five toes peeked out from the front of the sandal, elegantly aligned.

The divine sword was the same. A left leg, likewise of stone-like texture, likewise covered in fine cracks. It stood straighter than the right leg. The front of its sandal pressed close to the right leg's, the big toes touching, like partners secretly holding hands.

The holy staff's head was embedded in the cross-section at the top of the right leg, like a luminous pearl resting on a stone pedestal. The divine sword's silver-blue hilt pointed upward, as if a length of foreign metal had grown out of the left leg.

He crouched down, his fingers stopping less than a centimeter from the front of the right knee.

Then he touched it.

Hard, like marble. But once his fingertip made contact, something moved beneath. Like an extremely thin blood vessel pulsing. His finger instinctively flinched back.

他抬頭看她。

「……這是什麼?」

「你說呢?」她嘴角的笑意加深了一點,但那雙琥珀色的眼睛裡,無奈和不甘的比例也在同步增加。「你舉起聖杖的時候,」她說,語氣平淡,「其實抓住的是我右腳的腳踝。」

他低頭看了一眼自己的右手。那隻手在過去幾個月裡握過聖杖無數次——在最害怕的時候握得最緊,在戰鬥中汗水淋漓時也沒有鬆開過。

"...What is this?"

"What do you think?" The smile at the corners of her lips deepened, but in those amber eyes, the ratio of resignation to unwillingness was rising in tandem. "When you raised the holy staff," she said, her tone flat, "you were actually gripping my right ankle."

He looked down at his own right hand. That hand had held the holy staff countless times over the past months—gripping it hardest in the most terrifying moments, never loosening even when drenched in sweat during battle.

「你虔誠的意念,」她繼續說,「化成暖流,從我的腳掌、小腿、膝蓋、大腿,一路傳到那顆晶石裡,轉換成淨化的光芒釋放出去。」她語氣一轉,「你施法的時候,我的腳踝說,會癢。」

他覺得自己的手心開始發燙,雖然聖杖不在手裡。

「然後是劍。」她的視線移向左腿。「你揮動神劍的時候,劈入魔靈身體的劍鋒,是我左腿的脛骨。」她停了不到一秒。光環的旋轉也停了一瞬。「你用力一刺的時候——」聲音微微低了下去,「那股專注於消滅邪惡的熱切,將我的腳尖化成了最銳利的劍尖,穿透一切。」

「每次你用劍的時候,我這裡,」她的眼神朝左腿上的劍柄瞥了一眼,語氣輕了下去:「都會被一瞬間的觸感驚醒。你越用力握劍柄,我腳尖就會踮得越緊。在你看不到的地方。」

神殿裡很安靜。月光很白。

"Your devout thoughts," she continued, "turned into warm currents, traveling from my sole, my calf, my knee, my thigh, all the way into that crystal, where they were converted into purifying light and released." Her tone shifted. "When you cast spells, my ankle said it tickled."

He felt his palm begin to burn, even though the holy staff was no longer in his hand.

"Then the sword." Her gaze moved to the left leg. "When you swung the divine sword, the blade that cut into demonic spirits' bodies was my left shinbone." She paused for less than a second. The halo's rotation paused too. "When you thrust with all your strength—" her voice lowered slightly, "that fervor focused on destroying evil turned my toes into the sharpest blade-tip, piercing through everything."

"Every time you use the sword, I, over here—" her eyes flicked toward the hilt on the left leg, her tone softening, "—am jolted awake by a momentary sensation. The harder you grip the hilt, the tighter my toes curl. In a place you can't see."

The temple was very quiet. The moonlight was very white.

他看著那兩條石雕般的腿,然後把目光移回自己的雙手。

「所以……我握著的時候……妳……」

「感覺到了?」她下巴微微一揚,然後往側邊偏了偏。

「就像我剛剛說的。不很直接,有點模糊、有點慢,像隔了一層薄被。你的力氣不差,也有勇氣,打得很激烈。你跟那隻長了六條手臂的魔靈打的時候,揮出了最大的力道。你一次砍了它兩條手,而我的左腿也差點折了。它說很痛,痛到想哭。」

他低下頭,手不自覺地闔起,右手拇指用力按著左手的。

「開玩笑的。」她面無表情地說。「石頭怎麼會痛。」

他不確定她在開玩笑。

He looked at those two statue-like legs, then moved his gaze back to his own hands.

"So... when I was holding them... you..."

"Felt it?" Her chin lifted slightly, then tilted to one side.

"Like I said just now. Not very directly—a bit blurry, a bit slow, like through a thin blanket. Your strength isn't bad, and you've got courage. You fight hard. When you fought that demonic spirit with six arms, you swung with maximum force. You cut off two of its arms in one strike, and my left leg nearly snapped too. It said it hurt so much it wanted to cry."

He lowered his head, his hands unconsciously closing, his right thumb pressing hard against the back of his left hand.

"I'm joking," she said expressionlessly. "How would stone feel pain."

He wasn't sure she was joking.

---

他花了好一會兒才重新組織好語言。

「那——」他終於開口,「那這些……這些是妳的腿?」

「對。很明顯吧。」她有點不耐煩。

「聖杖和神劍——」

「是我的腿,還需要再問?」她重複,「它們化成了你手上的武器,幫你打贏魔靈。記得感恩。」

她的語氣裡有輕蔑,但那輕蔑不是對他的——更像是對荒謬處境的本能反應。

It took him a good while to reorganize his thoughts into words.

"Then—" he finally spoke, "these... these are your legs?"

"Yes. Obviously." She sounded a little impatient.

"The holy staff and the divine sword—"

"Are my legs. Do I need to answer that again?" she repeated. "They transformed into the weapons in your hands to help you defeat demonic spirits. Remember to be grateful."

Her tone carried a hint of disdain, but the disdain wasn't directed at him—it was more of an instinctive reaction to the absurdity of the situation.

他的目光不由自主地移向那個容器。

月光照在它海藍色的表面上,內部光流緩慢地旋轉。那個弧度——帶有流暢的弧線,像葫蘆般,中間收窄——他剛剛還覺得它像某種抽象雕塑。現在他看懂了。

「那個,」他指了指。

「嗯。」

「那也是——」

「對。」她打斷了他,聲音比之前簡短了一些。「那是身體。女神的身體。軀幹,核心部位。」

他盯著容器看了很久。那些在內部旋轉的海藍色光芒,那些在節點凝聚、生長的結構,像器官在發育,像系統在運作——

「心住在那裡。」她忽然說了一句。

His gaze drifted involuntarily toward the vessel.

Moonlight fell on its sea-blue surface; the light within swirled slowly. Those curves—the flowing arcs, gourd-like, narrowing in the middle—he had just thought of it as some kind of abstract sculpture. Now he understood.

"That," he said, pointing.

"Mm."

"That's also—"

"Yes." She cut him off, her voice terser than before. "That's the body. The goddess's body. The torso. The core."

He stared at the vessel for a long time. Those sea-blue lights rotating inside, those structures condensing and growing at the nodes, like organs developing, like systems operating—

"The heart lives there," she said suddenly.

「心?」

「情感。照見萬物的那種——」她像是在找詞,「——能力。或者說,本質。以前……她還在的時候,能感受到所有存在的脈動。每一棵草的生長,每一滴水的蒸發,每一顆心臟的跳動。全部的,同時的,都在這裡。」她的視線移到容器上 。「現在那些還在流動,還在運作。只是沒有主體去體驗它了。」

她沉默了一瞬。

「我說的『心』不是心臟,」她補充,「是心。就是心。」

他點了點頭。雖然不太確定自己聽懂了,但他的胸口有一種說不上來的輕微悸動。像站在很高的地方往下看。

「所以,」他慢慢地說,「聖杖和神劍是腿。那個容器是身體。而妳——」

「頭。」她說。「就是頭。」

「……那位女神的頭。」

"Heart?"

"Emotion. The ability to see into all things—" she seemed to be searching for words, "—or rather, the essence. Before... when she was still here, she could feel the pulse of all existence. The growth of every blade of grass, the evaporation of every drop of water, the beating of every heart. All of it, simultaneously, right here." Her gaze moved to the vessel. "Those things are still flowing, still functioning now. There's just no subject to experience them."

She was silent for a moment.

"When I say 'heart,' I don't mean the organ," she added. "I mean the heart. Just the heart."

He nodded. Though he wasn't entirely sure he understood, his chest stirred with an inexplicable, faint palpitation. Like standing somewhere very high and looking down.

"So," he said slowly, "the holy staff and the divine sword are the legs. That vessel is the body. And you—"

"The head," she said. "Just the head."

"...The head of that goddess."

她的表情變了。

不是劇烈的變化。嘴角的弧度沒動,眉眼的角度也幾乎沒變,但整個面部的「重量」沉了一點。像是微笑的面具底下有什麼更沉的東西稍微探出一點邊。

「你想見見她嗎?」她問。

他還沒來得及回答,她閉上了眼。

然後世界換了一個。

Her expression changed.

Not a dramatic change. The arc of her lips didn't move, and the angle of her brows and eyes barely shifted, but the entire "weight" of her face sank slightly. As if something heavier beneath the mask of the smile had edged out just a little.

"Would you like to meet her?" she asked.

Before he could answer, she closed her eyes.

And the world changed.

---

不對。世界沒有換。但他的感知被覆蓋了。他同時看見了兩樣東西:變得完整、明亮的神殿,和——

一位女性。

站在他面前——不,不是「站在」。她沒有重量。她的腳尖輕輕點在地面上,像一滴水落在湖面。那姿態不是懸浮,而是……不忍。不忍踩實。像是在脆弱的世界,不敢置入過大的存在。

No. The world hadn't changed. But his perception had been overwritten. He was seeing two things at once: a temple restored to wholeness and brightness, and—

A woman.

Standing before him—no, not "standing." She had no weight. Her toes touched the ground lightly, like a drop of water landing on a lake's surface. The posture wasn't hovering, but... reluctance. Reluctance to press down fully. As if in this fragile world, she dared not place too great an existence.

他看不清她的臉。不是模糊。是太清楚了。每一條輪廓都像是從「美」這個字的本源裡直接取出來的,沒有經過任何稀釋。他只能分段感知:下頜的弧線像被月光切割的海岸線;嘴唇閉合著,嘴角的弧度不是微笑,而是比微笑更深、更穩定的平靜;鼻梁——他跳過了;眼睛——他也跳過了。不是不看,是看不動。他的注意力本能地滑開,像是有什麼力量在說「還不到時候」。

視線往下。

她穿著一件海藍色的衣服。說「衣服」不太對——那更像一層從她肌膚上長出來的水。薄薄的,透透的,沿著肩線、腰側、大腿,無聲地流動。半透明的質地下肌膚的色澤像被晨光浸透的白瓷——白,但不是蒼白,是那種被光從內部照亮的、帶有體溫的白。

身材——他的視線不由自主地掃過——修長。雙腿筆直,腳掌小巧,還有那雙輕輕觸地的腳尖——此刻是他腳邊那兩根佈滿裂紋的石雕。這個對比來得太突然,他的呼吸滯了一下。

右He couldn't see her face clearly. Not because it was blurred. Because it was too clear. Every contour seemed drawn directly from the source of the word "beauty" itself, undiluted. He could only perceive her in fragments: the arc of her jaw like a coastline carved by moonlight; lips closed, the corners not smiling but holding a peace deeper and steadier than a smile; the bridge of her nose—he skipped over it; her eyes—he skipped over those too. Not because he didn't look, but because he couldn't bear to. His attention slid away instinctively, as if some force were saying "not yet."

His gaze moved downward.

She wore a sea-blue garment. Calling it a "garment" wasn't quite right—it was more like a layer of water grown from her skin. Thin, translucent, flowing soundlessly along her shoulders, the sides of her waist, her thighs. Beneath the semi-transparent texture, the color of her skin was like white porcelain steeped in morning light—white, but not pale; the kind of white that is illuminated from within, carrying body warmth.

Her figure—his gaze swept over it involuntarily—slender. Straight legs, small feet, and those toes lightly touching the ground—at this moment, they were the two cracked stone carvings at his feet. The contrast hit him too suddenly; his breath caught.

右臂垂在身側,微微外擺,像一條順著潮汐漂動的海草,不費力氣,不問方向。

左手舉起。手掌攤開,五指微微張開。掌心上方有什麼在凝聚。一個微小的、密度極高的光點,緩慢地旋轉著,發出他聽不見但能感覺到的嗡鳴,像某種從深海撈上來的東西,正在慢慢地、小心翼翼地,準備發芽。

她的表情——他終於找到了一個詞——是「包容」。

不是母親看著孩子跌倒時的那種。不是戀人之間交換秘密時的那種。是更遼闊的、更安靜的、不偏向任何一方的注視。

她看著一切,接受一切,理解一切,但她的接受不帶有擁抱。她與萬物之間隔著一段距離——不是冷漠,而是太過接近會被灼傷。就像太陽不會拒絕你,但你不能把手伸進去。

Her right arm hung at her side, slightly outswung, like seaweed drifting with the tide, effortless, asking no direction.

Her left hand was raised. The palm open, five fingers slightly spread. Something was condensing above her palm. A tiny, extremely dense point of light, rotating slowly, emitting a hum he couldn't hear but could feel, like something hauled up from the deep sea, slowly, carefully, preparing to sprout.

Her expression—he finally found a word for it—was "acceptance."

Not the kind a mother has watching her child fall. Not the kind lovers share when exchanging secrets. It was a vaster, quieter gaze, favoring no single direction.

She looked at everything, accepted everything, understood everything, but her acceptance came without embrace. There was a distance between her and all things—not coldness, but the knowledge that getting too close would burn. Like the sun won't reject you, but you can't put your hand inside it.

他感覺到自己的眼眶發酸。不是悲傷,是什麼更大的情緒沒有名字,只能從身體最脆弱的出口滲透出來。

然後——消失了。

像有什麼從他意識裡退潮。所有的色彩、氣味、溫度、那股安靜的壓迫感,一瞬間被抽離。他像是從很深的海底被拉回水面,耳邊轟地一聲,然後聽見了風。

他眨了眨眼。神殿的冷風吹回臉上。苔蘚的味道重新佔領鼻腔。

她睜開了眼。

表情和剛才不太一樣了。微笑還在,但那層薄薄的輕蔑不見了。取而代之的,是一種更安靜的表情。

「她叫佩拉吉亞。」她說。「很棒吧。」

He felt a sourness at the edges of his eye sockets. Not sadness—some greater emotion with no name, seeping out through the body's most vulnerable exits.

Then—it vanished.

As if something had receded from his consciousness. All the colors, scents, temperatures, that quiet pressure—withdrawn in an instant. Like being dragged back to the surface from the deepest seabed, a roar in his ears, and then he heard the wind.

He blinked. The temple's cold wind blew back against his face. The smell of moss reclaimed his nasal passages.

She opened her eyes.

Her expression was slightly different from before. The smile remained, but that thin layer of disdain was gone. In its place was a quieter expression.

"Her name is Pelagia," she said. "Wonderful, isn't she?"

像在說一顆星星的名字。她的環轉得慢了一點。

「為什麼妳都說『她』?」他問。聲音有點啞。「不就是妳嗎?」

她的下巴往下沉了一點。

「就說不是了。」她悶悶地說。「我只是一顆頭。頭頭頭頭頭。你懂不懂呀。」

隨著她表情變化,他感覺她雙腿的站姿也變了——膝蓋彎曲、彼此靠著,腳尖稍稍踮起,像惱怒又像不好意思。

It sounded like she was saying the name of a star. Her ring turned a little more slowly.

"Why do you keep saying 'she'?" he asked. His voice was a little hoarse. "Isn't that just you?"

Her chin dipped a little lower.

"I keep telling you, it's not," she said sullenly. "I'm just a head. Head head head head head. Do you get it or not?"

As her expression shifted, he noticed that the stance of her legs changed too—knees bending, pressing together, toes slightly lifted, like annoyance mixed with embarrassment.

容器也變了。不是外觀的變化,是「氣質」的變化。它忽然不再像一個神祕的裝置,而像某個活著的部位。像他剛才看到的、那具身體的中央,被單獨取了出來,放在這裡。他盯著看,忘了移開視線。

The vessel changed too. Not in appearance, but in "character." It suddenly no longer seemed like a mysterious device, but like a living body part. Like what he had just seen—the center of that body, removed separately and placed here. He stared at it, forgetting to look away.

「你在看什麼呀!」聲音拔高了半度,惱怒中帶著慌張。

"What are you staring at?!" Her voice rose half a pitch, flustered amid the annoyance.

---

她瞪著他。光環跟著她的情緒快速轉了幾圈,然後她嘆了一口氣。

「從頭說好了。」她繼續說明。

「要能稱為佩拉吉亞,」她用了全名,「得是個整體,由你看到的所有部分組成。她的記憶和人格由我保存。想法、判斷、經驗,都在這裡。你剛才看到的……畫面,是我從記憶裡調出來的。」

她偏了偏頭,光環跟著往同一個方向歪。

「身體——就是你看到的那個容器——是核心。神力在那裡被匯聚、分配、循環。還有——」她的聲音收了一點,「——情感。不是我這種程度的……」她努力想了一下,「不是這種小鼻子小眼睛的情感。是能裝得下整個世界的那種。」

She glared at him. The halo spun rapidly a few times in response to her mood, and then she sighed.

"Let me explain from the beginning," she said.

"To be called Pelagia," she used the full name, "requires being a whole, composed of all the parts you see. Her memories and personality are preserved with me. Thoughts, judgments, experiences—all here. What you just saw... that image, I retrieved it from memory."

She tilted her head; the halo tilted in the same direction.

"The body—that vessel you see—is the core. Divine power is gathered, distributed, circulated there. And—" her voice quieted, "—emotion. Not the kind I have..." she struggled for a moment, "not these small, petty emotions. The kind that can hold the entire world."

「雙腿——」她朝地面看了一眼,「你看到了。它們承載著佩拉吉亞的存在去行動。現在它們是……裝備,陪你戰鬥的裝備。」

「為什麼是雙腿?」他打斷。

她沉默了一下。「……雙腿是讓佩拉吉亞去到世界各處的部分。她走過的地方,比你一輩子能想像的都多。至於戰鬥——那也是『行動』。」她語氣一變。「而且你以為我身上,還有哪裡能找到兩條長長直直的,給你做武器?」

「何況它們現在也沒別的事好做了。」她朝地面看了一眼,語氣淡淡的。

「算了。還有這個。」她頭前傾,讓那個環更明顯地進入他的視野。「環。神力的殘留。沒有它,我連漂浮都做不到。就夠支撐一顆頭。」她的嘴角抽了一下,像是想笑又不太笑得出來。

"The legs—" she glanced at the ground, "you saw them. They were the part that carried Pelagia's existence into action. Now they're... equipment. Equipment that fought alongside you."

"Why legs?" he interrupted.

She was silent for a moment. "...Legs are the part that took Pelagia to every corner of the world. She walked through more places than you could imagine in your entire life. As for battle—that's also 'action.'" Her tone shifted. "And where else on my body did you think you'd find two long, straight things to make you weapons?"

"Besides, they've got nothing better to do now anyway." She glanced toward the ground, her tone light.

"Anyway. And this." She tilted her head forward, bringing the ring more clearly into his view. "The ring. The residue of divine power. Without it, I couldn't even float. Just enough to support a head." The corner of her mouth twitched, as if she wanted to smile but couldn't quite manage it.

「那妳——」他斟酌了一下措辭,「——佩拉吉亞——完整的時候,是什麼樣的?」

「她——」她又用了「她」,「——是女神。字面上的意思。掌管……海洋深處的淨化。或者說,讓被汙染的東西回到原本的樣子。不只是水,是……萬物。」她想了想,覺得不太對。「反正比那更大。很厲害就對了。」

「那為什麼會變成現在這樣?」

她的表情收緊了一瞬。收得很輕,很快,像水面被蜻蜓點了一下。

「不記得了。」她說。

他感覺到這是一句謊話,但沒有追問。

"Then you—" he chose his words carefully, "—Pelagia—when she was whole, what was she like?"

"She—" again she said "she," "—was a goddess. In the literal sense. She governed... purification in the depths of the ocean. Or rather, returning polluted things to their original state. Not just water—everything." She thought about it and decided that wasn't quite right. "Well, bigger than that. Very impressive, in any case."

"Then why did it come to this?"

Her expression tightened for an instant. So lightly, so quickly, like a dragonfly touching the surface of water.

"I don't remember," she said.

He sensed it was a lie but didn't press further.

「總之,」她深吸了一口氣——一顆頭的深呼吸看起來有點滑稽,「結果就是:頭在這裡,身體在那裡,腿在地上。都有連結,但各自存在著。」

「如果妳不是女神,」他謹慎地問,「就是一顆頭。那妳——有什麼差別?我不是指神力,是說感覺。」

她想了一下。

「我有記憶。有判斷力。有那位女神的一切想法。但她不在。」聲音落了下去,像羽毛飄到地面。「你說的那個『容器』裡,住著她的心。現在那邊像什麼裝置一樣,跑不太出情感了。我剩一顆頭,情感更淡,但也更……怎麼說?更私人,有自己的情緒、自己的慾望。」

"In any case," she drew a deep breath—a head taking a deep breath looked somewhat comical, "the result is this: the head is here, the body is there, the legs are on the ground. They're all connected, but each exists separately."

"If you're not the goddess," he asked cautiously, "if you're just a head—then what's different about you? Not in terms of divine power, but in terms of... feeling."

She thought for a moment.

"I have memories. I have judgment. I have all of that goddess's thoughts. But she isn't here." Her voice dropped, like a feather drifting to the ground. "Inside that 'vessel' you mentioned dwells her heart. Right now it's like some kind of device—can't really produce emotions anymore. I'm left with just a head, with even fainter emotions, but also more... how to put it? More personal. I have my own moods, my own desires."

他等她繼續說。

「你想想看。」她的語氣忽然變得有些……講理?「頭要裝的已經太多了,沒辦法容下『神性』——讓你看到說不出話的那個。不像心,能裝下全世界。頭的能力遠超凡人,但情感就是一個『人』的程度。但問題是,」琥珀色的眼睛飄向了遠方,「這些情感在我頭裡自個兒待著,待太久了。時間會讓情緒褪色,就像——」她想了想,「——就像你把一件衣服放在太陽底下曬了很多年。顏色還是那個顏色,但淡了。」

她轉回目光,對上他的視線。

「所以就算等上千年,」她說,「情感波動也就這種程度。喜悅、欣慰、惱怒、惆悵,都有,但——」她視線又轉走,「可能還不如你吃一頓好的,或扭到腳。」

神殿裡又沉默了一陣。月光挪了一點位置。容器內部的海藍色光芒繼續旋轉著,對周圍的對話充耳不聞。

He waited for her to continue.

"Think about it." Her tone suddenly became oddly... reasonable? "A head has too much to hold already; it can't contain 'divinity'—the thing that left you speechless when you saw it. Not like the heart, which can hold the entire world. A head's abilities far exceed a mortal's, but its emotions are at the level of a single 'person.' But the problem is," her amber eyes drifted into the distance, "these emotions have been sitting alone in my head for too long. Time makes feelings fade, like—" she thought for a moment, "—like leaving a piece of clothing out in the sun for years. It's still the same color, but it's faded."

She turned her gaze back, meeting his eyes.

"So even if I wait a thousand years," she said, "my emotional fluctuations will only ever reach this level. Joy, gratification, irritation, melancholy—I have all of them, but—" her gaze drifted away again, "they probably don't compare to you having a good meal, or twisting your ankle."

Silence settled over the temple again. The moonlight shifted position slightly. The sea-blue light inside the vessel continued its rotation, deaf to the conversation around it.

他覺得自己應該說點什麼。但「什麼」是什麼?他不知道。

「我——」他開口。

「你什麼都不用說。」她很快地打斷,語氣裡帶著一點——還是輕蔑?不,更像是某種防備。「我又不是在跟你訴苦。我可生不出那麼多苦來訴。你問,我答,就這樣。」

他閉了嘴。

He felt he should say something. But what was "something"? He didn't know.

"I—" he began.

"You don't need to say anything." She cut him off quickly, her tone carrying a hint of—still disdain? No, more like defensiveness. "I'm not confiding in you anyway. I couldn't produce that much suffering to confide. You ask, I answer. That's all."

He closed his mouth.

她看了他一眼,表情稍微緩和了一點。

「……你叫什麼?」她忽然問。

他報了自己的名字。

「嗯。」她的反應像是聽到了一個不太有趣的地名。「記住了。」

「那——」他看向那兩條腿,再看向容器,最後看向她,「現在怎麼辦?」

她的嘴角往上揚了一點。

「帶我回去吧。」

She glanced at him, her expression softening slightly.

"...What's your name?" she asked suddenly.

He gave his name.

"Hm." Her reaction was like hearing the name of a not particularly interesting town. "Noted."

"Then—" he looked at the two legs, then at the vessel, and finally at her, "what now?"

The corners of her lips lifted a little.

"Take me back with you."

---

「帶妳回去。」他重複了一遍。「回……人間?」

「這裡也算是人間。只不過你們人不太來得了。」她瞟了一眼破敗的神殿,「我確實在這待太久了。外面變了很多吧?我遠遠地望著,偶爾能感覺到一些……時代的風。新鮮的東西。」

「可是——」他斟酌了一下措辭,「——帶一顆頭回去——」

「你擔心這個?」

「不擔心才有問題吧。」

"Take you back with me," he repeated. "Back to... the human world?"

"This is also the human world. It's just that you people can't easily get here." She cast a glance at the ruined temple. "I have indeed stayed here too long. The outside has changed a lot, hasn't it? I watch from afar, and occasionally I can sense some... winds of the times. New things."

"But—" he chose his words, "—carrying a head back—"

"You're worried about that?"

"Only someone with a problem wouldn't be worried."

她冷笑了一聲。

下一秒,她脖子以下——浮現了什麼。

那是半透明的、帶著光暈的輪廓,像用鉛筆在空氣中勾勒出身體的線條。肩膀、鎖骨、手臂、身體——只是輪廓,沒有細節,沒有質感,但足以讓一顆漂浮的頭看起來像一個「人」。

「幻覺,」她說,「加上一點感知操縱。讓別人看到我時,看到的是一個完整的、正常的人。沒什麼了不起的。」

She gave a cold laugh.

The next second, something emerged below her neck.

It was a semi-transparent outline with a soft glow—like the lines of a body sketched in pencil against the air. Shoulders, collarbone, arms, torso—just outlines, no details, no texture, but enough to make a floating head look like a "person."

"Illusion," she said, "with a bit of perception manipulation. When others see me, they see a complete, normal person. Nothing impressive."

「這叫沒什麼了不起?」

「我可是女神的頭。」她用一種理所當然的口吻說。那個虛幻的身體伸出一隻半透明的手,捏了一下他的臉。

他感到了痛。

「——!」他捂住臉。「虛幻的怎麼會——」

「感知操縱。」她嘴角的弧度加大了。「我說了,我讓你感受到痛,你就感受到痛。原理跟幻覺一樣。」

"That's 'nothing impressive'?"

"I am a goddess's head." She said it in a matter-of-fact tone. The phantom body extended a semi-transparent hand and pinched his cheek.

He felt pain.

"—!" He clutched his face. "How can something illusory—"

"Perception manipulation." The arc of her lips widened. "I told you—if I want you to feel pain, you feel pain. Same principle as illusion."

她看起來對自己的惡作劇相當滿意。那個得意的表情只維持了大約兩秒,就又沉回了那層淡淡的疲倦底下。但那兩秒裡,她看起來——年輕了些。外表沒變,但某種輕盈的、頑皮的東西,從表情深處透出來,像是被壓在層層疊疊的時間底下,偶爾還會翻個身。

「好吧。」他放下手。臉上應該紅了一塊。「那……怎麼帶?」

「你把那兩根拔起來就行。」她朝地上的石腿看了一眼。「拔起來以後它們會變回聖杖和神劍。」

他走到右腿——聖杖——面前,蹲下來,雙手握住,用力往上拔。

重。石腿紋風不動。

She looked quite pleased with her prank. The smug expression lasted about two seconds before sinking back beneath that thin layer of weariness. But in those two seconds, she looked—younger. Her appearance hadn't changed, but something light and mischievous surfaced from deep within her expression, like something pressed beneath layers upon layers of time, occasionally turning over in its sleep.

"Fine." He lowered his hand. There was probably a red mark on his face. "Then... how do I carry you?"

"Just pull those two out of the ground." She glanced at the stone legs. "Once you pull them out, they'll turn back into the holy staff and the divine sword."

He walked over to the right leg—the holy staff—crouched down, gripped it with both hands, and pulled upward with all his strength.

Heavy. The stone leg didn't budge.

「……妳這個腿,」他憋著氣說,「是不是有什麼——」

「你是這麼用聖杖的嗎?」她悠悠地說。「想著它是聖杖。杖,不是腿。你拿它的時候是怎麼拿的?」

他閉上眼。回想。幾個月來握聖杖的觸感——右手握住杖身中段,掌心的溫度傳到杖身上,杖頭的寶石亮起來——

嘩的一聲,石腿輕了。

他睜開眼。手裡握著的是聖杖。米白色杖身,圓潤寶石,熟悉的重量和溫度。它像從來不曾是別的東西。

他依樣拔出了神劍。這次更快。銀藍色的劍柄入手的瞬間,他有種奇怪的感覺。像是在跟一個老朋友握手。不,更私密一點。像是——

算了。他決定不去想。

「好。」他把聖杖和神劍別在身後——聖杖斜挎,神劍貼腰,跟這幾個月來的攜帶方式一樣。

"...Your leg," he said through gritted teeth, "does it have some kind of—"

"Is that how you use the holy staff?" she said lazily. "Think of it as the holy staff. The staff, not the leg. How do you hold it when you use it?"

He closed his eyes. Recalled. The feel of gripping the holy staff over these months—his right hand around the middle of the shaft, the warmth of his palm transferring to the staff, the gem at the top lighting up—

With a whoosh, the stone leg grew light.

He opened his eyes. What he held in his hand was the holy staff. Off-white shaft, rounded gem, familiar weight and warmth. It seemed as though it had never been anything else.

He pulled out the divine sword the same way. This time it was faster. The moment the silver-blue hilt entered his hand, he had a strange feeling. Like shaking hands with an old friend. No—more intimate than that. Like—

Never mind. He decided not to think about it.

"Okay." He slung the holy staff diagonally across his back and pressed the divine sword against his waist, the same way he'd carried them for months.

「那……那個呢?」他看向容器。

她的臉——紅了。

他確定那不是光線的錯覺。在月光和海藍色光芒的交映下,那顆頭顱的臉頰出現了明顯的紅暈。不是嬌羞的粉紅,是「我很丟臉但我死也不會承認」的那種。

「那個……身體。」她把視線移開,盯著神殿的天花板——那塊快要塌下來的破石板。「你小心點搬。」

「小心點?」

「當然要小心點!」她猛地轉回來,臉更紅了。「那可是——那是——」她的聲音不自覺地拔高了半度,「——軀幹。你懂嗎?軀幹。一個人的——核心部位。你搬的時候——手放好。別亂摸。」

"What about... that?" He looked at the vessel.

Her face—flushed.

He was certain it wasn't a trick of the light. In the interplay of moonlight and sea-blue glow, the cheeks of that head showed a distinct blush. Not the pink of coyness, but the kind that says "I'm mortified but I'd die before admitting it."

"That... the body." She averted her gaze, staring at the temple ceiling—that broken stone slab about to collapse. "Be careful when you move it."

"Careful?"

"Of course careful!" She whipped her head back around, her face redder than before. "That's—that's—" her voice rose half a pitch involuntarily, "—a torso. Do you understand? A torso. A person's—core region. When you carry it—keep your hands in the right places. Don't touch randomly."

他看了看容器,又想起剛才幻象裡的——

他搖搖頭。

「我不會亂摸,」他試探性地說,「不如說,我不知道什麼才是亂摸——」

「你的注意力放對地方就行了。」她打斷他,語氣又悶了下去。「別盯著看。那是——那曾經是——」她似乎放棄了解釋。「總之你小心。」

他點了點頭。伸手觸碰容器的表面——溫的。接近體溫的柔和溫度。觸感光滑,但不像玻璃或金屬,更像是——皮膚?不是真的皮膚,是皮膚這個概念本身。他不確定這句話有沒有意義,但這就是他的觸感傳遞給大腦的訊息。

容器比他預期的輕得多。他用雙掌輕輕握住中間收窄的那一段。容器透出的藍光在他手裡流轉,像是在回應接觸。

He looked at the vessel, then remembered what he'd seen in the vision—

He shook his head.

"I won't touch randomly," he said tentatively. "Actually, I don't even know what would count as random—"

"Just keep your attention where it belongs." She cut him off, her tone sullen again. "Don't stare. That's—that was—" She seemed to give up on explaining. "Just be careful."

He nodded. He reached out and touched the vessel's surface—warm. A gentle warmth close to body temperature. Smooth to the touch, but not like glass or metal—more like... skin? Not actual skin, but the concept of skin itself. He wasn't sure if that made sense, but that was what his sense of touch reported to his brain.

The vessel was far lighter than he'd expected. He held it gently with both palms around the narrowed middle section. The blue light emanating from the vessel swirled in his hands, as if responding to the contact.

「我說了別亂摸!」她的聲音傳來,虛幻的手似乎握起了拳頭。

「我是在搬!」

「你的手放的位置不對!」

「那妳告訴我放哪裡!」

「……算了。走了走了。」她轉過頭去,那個金色的環轉得比之前快了一點。

他捧著容器,像捧著花瓶。身上挎著聖杖、佩著神劍,面前漂浮著一顆有著幻影身體的頭顱。

"I said don't touch randomly!" Her voice came, the phantom hand seemingly curled into a fist.

"I am carrying it!"

"Your hands are in the wrong place!"

"Then tell me where to put them!"

"...Forget it. Let's go, let's go." She turned her head away, the golden ring spinning a little faster than before.

He held the vessel like a vase. The holy staff was strapped across his back, the divine sword at his waist, and before him floated a head with a phantom body.

深夜。破敗的神殿。一個普通人,帶走了一位女神——的全部零件。

「走吧。」她說。語氣平靜了一些。她往神殿的出口漂了幾步,又回過頭,看了一眼這個她待了不知道多少年的空間。

她什麼都沒說。

「路上你幫我想想,」她說,語氣裡那層輕快的調子又浮了上來,像是為了蓋住什麼別的東西,「人間現在流行穿什麼鞋?」

Late at night. A ruined temple. An ordinary person, carrying off a goddess—all of her component parts.

"Let's go," she said. Her tone had calmed somewhat. She drifted a few steps toward the temple exit, then turned back and looked once at this space where she had spent who-knew-how-many years.

She said nothing.

"On the way, help me think," she said, that light tone floating back up in her voice, as if to cover something else, "what kind of shoes are fashionable in the human world these days?"

「……鞋?」

「那雙腳上穿的是一雙羅馬式的皮涼鞋。」她微微偏了偏頭。「質樸了點。而且——掛在那雙腳上,不只千年了。」

他忍不住「噗」了一聲。這聲音在寂靜的夜裡顯得格外突兀。

「你笑什麼?」她瞪了他一眼。

「沒有。」他清了清嗓子。「只是……妳以前——不,佩拉吉亞也這樣說話嗎?」

她的表情空白了一瞬。然後,微笑的弧度增加了一點。

「她才不會。」她說。「她可是女神。」

"...Shoes?"

"Those feet are wearing Roman-style leather sandals." She tilted her head slightly. "A bit rustic. And—they've been on those feet for over a thousand years."

He couldn't help letting out a "pfft." The sound was jarringly loud in the silent night.

"What are you laughing at?" She glared at him.

"Nothing." He cleared his throat. "It's just... did you—I mean, did Pelagia also talk like this before?"

Her expression went blank for an instant. Then the smile's arc grew slightly wider.

"She wouldn't," she said. "She was a goddess."

---

下山的路上,他們沒有再說話。

步道的石階在夜色中一級一級地往下降,他走在月光裡,容器改成雙手斜抱——免得每幾步就有人紅著臉回頭抱怨。

她飄在前方兩三步的位置,幻影的身體在月光下幾乎看不出破綻——如果不去注意她沒有影子的話。

他注意到了。但決定不說。

不知何時,城市遠處的燈光從山腳的樹縫間透上來。路燈的橘黃、便利店招牌的白、公寓窗戶裡滲出的暖黃色。嘈雜的、不美的、屬於人的光。

她停下來,看了很久。

On the way down the mountain, they didn't speak.

The stone steps descended through the night, one by one. He walked in the moonlight, the vessel now cradled diagonally in both arms—to avoid having someone turn around every few steps blushing and complaining.

She drifted two or three paces ahead, her phantom body nearly flawless in the moonlight—if you didn't notice she had no shadow.

He noticed. But decided not to mention it.

At some point, the distant lights of the city began filtering up through the trees at the mountain's foot. The orange-yellow of streetlights, the white of convenience store signs, the warm yellow seeping from apartment windows. Noisy, unbeautiful light, belonging to humans.

She stopped and looked for a long time.

「那些光,」她輕輕說,「以前沒有那麼多。」

然後她繼續往前飄,穿過最後一排樹,來到了柏油路上。深夜的風從城市的那一邊吹過來,帶著瀝青和汽車尾氣的味道。她深吸了一口氣——容器好像也微微起伏。

「味道變了。」她說。不是抱怨,不是感慨。只是一個事實,被輕輕地放在夜風裡。

末班公車已經沒了。他看了看手機,時間顯示凌晨四點十一分。

「走路吧。」他說。

「嗯。」

"Those lights," she said softly, "there weren't so many before."

Then she drifted onward, passing through the last row of trees onto the asphalt road. The late-night wind blew from the city, carrying the smell of asphalt and car exhaust. She drew a deep breath—the vessel seemed to rise and fall slightly with it.

"The smell has changed," she said. Not a complaint. Not nostalgia. Just a fact, placed gently into the night wind.

The last bus was long gone. He checked his phone: 4:11 AM.

"Let's walk," he said.

"Mm."

天快亮了。東邊的天空開始褪色,從深夜的墨藍變成一種稀薄的灰紫。路燈在他們身後一盞一盞地熄滅,像是一個時代正在退場。

而他懷裡的容器,那個應該只剩下功能的軀幹,在第一道晨光觸及它的表面時,內部的渦流忽然——快了一點。

只快了一點。

像是感覺到了什麼。

一位女神——前女神的零件,離開了她的聖殿,走入了人間。

Dawn was approaching. The eastern sky was beginning to fade, from the inky blue of deep night to a thin gray-purple. Streetlights went out one by one behind them, like an era retreating.

And the vessel in his arms—that torso that should have held only function—as the first light of dawn touched its surface, the vortex inside suddenly quickened—just a little.

Just a little.

As if it had sensed something.

A goddess—a former goddess's component parts—left her sanctuary and walked into the human world.