604 Be Myself Again

About pseudo fairy, please read:
http://taoyundao.blogspot.tw/2014/06/207-this-is-not-me-kirinrin-has-unique.html

    Hong Ya-Mei(洪 雅美) admired Mizuno Ami(水野 亞美, character from the anime "Sailor moon") very much from her childhood. Ami is her idol, her heroine, and even her goddess. She always thought that she is pretty similar to Mizuno Ami: Hong(洪) means "flood" in Chinese, and Mizu(水) means "water". Besides, Ami(亞美) is pronounced to be Ya-Mei in Chinese, totally the same with her name. Hong Ya-Mei was very happy with that, and she desired to really become Ami eagerly. One day, her head left her body and transformed into Ami-- she became a pseudo-fairy to be the one she loved.

    Ya-Mei was in an ecstasy of joy about that. She even considered herself as the true Sailor Mercury, and Hong Ya-Mei was just the shell she used to fit herself into the earthy world. She enjoyed her secret identity a lot during her teenage.

    However, a girl will grow into a woman finally after all. Ya-Mei became an ordinary adult, and she had to accept the reality. One day when she turned into the fairy form again, she looked at her real body seriously. Suddenly, she pulled up her fairy head and put it on her real body.

    Ya-Mei's fairy body isn't truly a body, it represents Ya-Mei's pure desire to keep herself unearthly and perfect. It comes from Ya-Mei's nature. Ya-Mei's mind is slit into two, they have a conversation.

    Ami:" Hey! Myself, why did you do this? You know Sailor Mercury is such a perfect girl, but now I become a common human woman in bad taste! You looks so tacky!"

    Ya-Mei:" Dear me, don't say something like that, please. I don't think I'm that bad now. I am Hong ya-Mei indeed , a mature and charming woman in the real world. See! I have a pair of long pretty legs!"

    Ami:" Oh~ Don't mention them or I will be enraged more! That vulgar peep-toe! That cheepy translucent legging! What do you want to show to others! Myself, Sailor Mercury is a high-class girl that good at everything and well-behaved in the world that she belongs to!"

    Ya-Mei:" Being a perfect school girl sounds good, but is it good to me forever? Dear me, I know I have some complex parts of myself, some subtle emotions in my heart, and I shall face my ego honestly. Sailor Mercury is the girl whom I want myself to be, but I am not Sailor Mercury really. Don't cheat yourself, myself. As a real woman, I may be loved, I may be hated, I may be pursued or abandoned, and those are what myself shall experience. If you think I am tacky now, then the tacky part of myself already exists from the beginning. Dear me, please accept the whole me. I am Hong Ya-Mei, and I must to be Hong Ya-Mei. You already know that, right?"